🍽️ Battle of the Basic White People Food: Russia Edition (YAAAS/NAUR)

✅ GOD TIER EATS 🥇 Pizza 22cm (St. Pete) 📍 Multiple locations | 💰 Mid-range Why slay: LIFE-CHANGING pizza – even crust haters will lick the plate! 🤤 The "show the photo to order" combo (likely truffle + burrata) is BREADVENTURE OF THE YEAR. Fluffy yet chewy = carb witchcraft. 🥈 EGGS-ELLENT (Moscow/St. Pete) 📍 Hipster hubs | 💰 1,500-2,000 RUB Vibe check: Insta-famous but actually good. Brunch warriors line up rain or shine 🌧️🔥 Must-order: Avocado-shrimp toast with poached eggs – bigger than your ex’s ego. Skip: Cherry meatballs – sweeter than a K-drama confession. Russians really said "diabetes who?" 🥉 Suliko (St. Pete) 📍 Cozy Georgian spot | 💰 2,000+ RUB MUST. ORDER. THE. LAMB. CHOPS! 🇬🇪 Juicy, zero gamey-ness. Bonus: Lamb stew with flaky flatbread = food coma worth dying for. ⚠️ Red flag: Mandatory 10% service fee (sus foreigners tax? 👀). ❌ CRIMES AGAINST FOOD 🏆 Реберная №1 (Moscow) 📍 Tourist trap zone | 💰 Overpriced regrets Why flop: Ribs drier than Russian humor, service colder than Siberia. Almost crowned Romeo’s Restaurant (St. Pete) but at least they had AC and manners. 🔥 TL;DR: • Pizza 22cm = carb salvation • Suliko’s lamb > your dating prospects • Moscow’s Реберная №1 = edible war crime #BasicWhiteFoodWars #RussianFoodRoasts #StPeteEats #MoscowHatesYou #GeorgianFoodCarries #StudyAbroadSurvival