🇫🇷 4 Days in Paris: Brutally Honest Review ✨

(Just back from Paris—here’s the real deal you won’t find in brochures.) 🚇 Metro Chaos ⚠️ Signage = scavenger hunt Direction labels? Maybe on that one wall you didn’t check. Pro tip: Screenshot your route before descending! 🍜 Chinese Food Saves Lives 🥢 "Little Red Book" recs = elite Hot pot, noodles, dumplings—all cheaper than in London/NYC! 🏛️ Museum Fatigue is REAL 🦵 20,000 steps/day = legs screaming Versailles/Louvre: Size of small towns (RIP, my feet) Orangerie fail: Closed early (always call ahead!) 🎫 Late entry? No stress—they’ll still let you in! 👀 Parisian Work-Life Mystery ⏰ 7PM dinners = ghost towns Do Parisians… not eat? (Weekday secret?) 🛍️ Beauty Shopping L 💄 Polyglot pharmacists… but NO KÉRASTASE BLACK BOTTLE ANYWHERE. Why, Paris, why?! 💡 Survival Kit ✔ Weekly Metro Pass (NFC = tap & go) ✔ Crossbody bag + phone leash ✔ Off-season visits (Nov-Feb = fewer elbows) #ParisUnfiltered #MuseumMarathon #MetroStruggles