Bangkok Kitchen | St. John’s Most Overrated Thai Spot

🌿 Bangkok Kitchen | St. John’s Most Overrated Thai Spot 📍 The Vibe A dimly lit basement on Duckworth Street where: • Decor: Faux bamboo + plastic orchids • Smell: Lemongrass masking old fryer oil • Crowd: Cruise ship tourists + "adventurous" locals who think sriracha is exotic Pro Tip: The only authentic item is the Thai iced tea ($5.50) – because it’s canned. 🍜 Menu Reality Check 1. Pad Thai ($18.99) 🍝 • Noodles: Overcooked spaghetti (yes, spaghetti) • Protein: Rubbery shrimp that curl like pill bugs • Flavor: Ketchup + peanut dust (not even ground properly) Why Locals Love It: They’ve never been within 5,000km of Bangkok 2. Green Curry ($19.50) 🥥 • Consistency: Cream of mushroom soup with food coloring • Meat: Mystery white cubes (chicken? tofu? eraser?) • Spice Level: "Thai hot" = mild salsa heat Cultural Crime: Served with naan bread (?!?) 3. Mango Sticky Rice ($9.99) 🥭 • Mango: Unripe Newfoundland greenhouse specimen • Rice: Microwave-reheated + artificial coconut flavor • Garnish: Canned whipped cream (sacrilege) 📊 Why It’s Popular (But Shouldn’t Be) What They Think Reality "Authentic" Chef’s only training: YouTube tutorials "Spicy" Black pepper = daring "Fresh" Sysco truck Tuesdays The Irony: Real Thai students at MUN avoid this place 💡 Survival Tips 1. Order Strategically: • Spring rolls: Least offensive (still frozen-core) • Tom yum soup: Comes from same powder as Dollarama 2. Ask for "Thai Spice": They’ll add 1/4 tsp chili flakes (big whoop) 3. Damage Control: Douse everything in sriracha (bring your own) Local Secret: The owner actually Vietnamese – explains the pho-ish broth 🚫 Better Alternatives 1. Viet Nam Restaurant (Elizabeth Ave): Real banh mi 2. Sushi Island: Their "Thai" dishes ironically better 3. Your Kitchen: Instant Mama noodles + lime > this StJohnsEats #TouristTraps #ThaiFoodFails #Newfoundland