Paris | Jean Imbert: The Michelin-Starred Circus 🎪🍽️

Normally we'd critique food... but this *theatrical* 1-star is *impossible* to review objectively. Buckle up! 🎭 "Tiny Times" Vibes : That *obscenely long table*? Perfect for Gu Li's *"Let's rot together!"* birthday toast 🥂. Nestled on *Avenue Montaigne* (next to Chanel), this palace-themed spot screams *"we spent millions on Baccarat crystal"* 💎. 🐟 "Detective Conan" Moment : *Appetizer*: "The ocean just punched me in the face!" 🌊 (Scallop/uni sauce = *low-tide at midnight*). *Main*: "Is this... *just a salt lick shaped like cauliflower*?" 🧂🤡 🍫 "Xin Rong Ji" Parallels : Fancy service? Check. Gorgeous plating? Check. *Actual good food?* Hidden like *free pre-meal almonds* 🥜. 👯♀️ "Girl Math" Twist : Discovering *only men's menus show prices* 💸 Asking "What if two women dine?" triggered: ➡️ *Split-check forced* (without asking) ➡️ Male friend: *"So... I'm just a decoy duck?"* 🦆 💸 Verdict : As *dinner*? *Not worth €300pp*. As *performance art* mocking French aristocracy? *Priceless* 🎭. #ParisWTFdining #MichelinSatire