Volcan de Lodo El Totumo — Attraction in Bolívar

It was not what we expected. We paid $70 Canadian each totaling $280. We were told it was all inclusive. The tour was mostly in Spanish with some english. We were given two small croissants and candy for a snack when we got on the bus at the hotel. At the Volcano the tour guide told us if you had a picture taken and received it and a massage it was 10,000 pesos for each person. When we arrived the Volcano spa is a man made oversized ant hill about 60 ' high. You climbed 30 - 35 uneven dirt and rock steps with 2"X2" posts and rails. Before we climbed the stairs we were told to put our sandals in a pile or bag.  52 people on our tour climbed the stairs and stood in the hot sun for 20 minutes or more. There were other tour buses as well. As we waited on the stairs we saw in the mud pit over 17 people  were crammed into a 12'x12' area. Three workers were also in the pit. You walked on uneven ground with a little jagged fence to climb down in the volcano pit. You climbed down an uneven jagged mud covered ladder into the pit. Your pulled by two guys over on your back and massaged which we didn't want. They didn't understand when we said no thank you. They take your picture with their camera which we didn't receive a picture.  They also will use your own camera if you like (we found these items out later). In the mud my wife had a handful of hair from someone in the mud and was unintentional kicked by others. Many others had similar issues. To many bodies were in this volcano pit. I don't know how they would keep it clean from people peeing, hair and other bodily functions! People were bumping into each other it was so packed and uncomfortable. You spend about 10 minutes in the mud and proceed to another rickety uneven mud covered wood ladder. It's covered in mud and mud is rubbed off as you try to climb out. No assistance from the top as you slip on the steps. From there you try to walk on some dirt thrown down on the top heading toward the steps. You proceed down 30 - 35 unevenly spaced dirt and rock steps with 2"X2" posts worse than the ones you climbed up in muddy bare feet. Some steps are over 24" high and the run portion is missing or jagged rocks. You get to the bottom step and you try and find your shoes. A guy calls you for your shoes. You then walk about 100' to a water river outlet where you wash off the mud the best you can with 40 -50 other people. Ladies walk up to you and start washing you without asking. (Which they charge you 10,000 Colombian pesos we found out later) They tell you their names over and over. Your feet sink into the mud up to your knees. You leave the water and are hounded by people selling beer, showers, pop, water, food, towels etc... We found out later there was a fee. Now we need towels. On arrival to the Volcano we gave our towels to the tour guide. She reluctantly got up from her using her phone and drinking beer and went to the bus. We bought water and waited for our towels. The tour guide handed out everyone's towels. As we boarded we were harassed for money for massages, taking our sandals, washing us in the inlet, pictures taken and for a shower if you managed to receive one. The workers came on the bus and confronted many of us. The tour guide let them do it. People got off the bus and handed money out and some we're very intimidated by the locals. One gentleman behind us was quite offended and voiced his opinion loudly to the tour guide and the men asking for money. While getting on the bus I gave money to the girl who washed us and another man who harassed us for a fee for something I didn't understand. A very frightening situation to be in when your handicapped and a senior or a younger woman. Especially in the middle of nowhere! We left the Volcano pit and drove to a dumpy hotel resort for lunch, swim and a free welcome drink. No toilet paper for the women which I took from the men's washroom and gave to the upset ladies. I wouldn't go on this tour. They give you warnings on the website about climbing, walking and some stress. Not a good trip from a retired...

Step away if you're not ready for a unique / exquisite experience.

Tl;Dr version:

Choose a company that seems more organised Take cash in small bills and coins 40,000 COP - Tour Optionals (but not so much) 10,000 COP - lunch 4,000 COP - Massage 4,000 COP - Clean up service 4,000 COP - Picture taking service

Full review:

To go to Totumo you'll have to either find a company that takes you there, or go by car. It's 40,000 COP without lunch and an additional 10,000 for lunch.

The company we went with had tours leaving at 8:30, but went around the whole city picking up more tourists, so it took about an hour or so for us to really leave.

It takes you around an hour to get there and when you do, you're taken to a changing room to get dressed (or undressed ;p) and store your backpack in their "locker", which is really just a table. This looks unsafe, but really wasn't.

You can give a camera to one of the "staff" there and he will take rather good photos for 4,000 COP. He can really remember which camera belongs to each person and you can expect tons of pictures to look at.

The staircase to climb is rather steep, but doable and when you get to the top you will have to wait, depending on the number of people already in the "volcano".

When you go down, a guy helps you out and already sends you to another one that will massage your body with the mud. This is supposedly optional, but can hardly be avoided, as the guy sort of controls where you "land". They will charge you 4,000 COP later.

You get to hang out there for quite some time after the massage, depending on the amount of people waiting outside. I would say most people stay there for 15-20min. The exit might be tricky, as the staircase is muddy and slippery.

After exiting, you need to remove the mud by going to the lake, where a lot of women will ask to bath you. The lake was pretty dry in our visit, so we didn't have much of a choice and let them clean us up, which is actually nice, since you need lots of water to do so. They also charge you 4,000 COP.

After getting cleaned, you return to get tour stuff or do a refined cleaning process in the showers. Beware because this showers are very weak and you will have to struggle to clean yourself if you do not opt to pay the women. This is also where paying a good your company is handy, because although ours didn't offer a proper locker, it did offer lunch, a place with showers, bathrooms, tables and such. Others might be a lot simpler. It's when you're packing up to go that all the cleaning ladies, massage guys and photographer will appear to charge you. Do take cash in small bills, as they often don't have any change.

The lunch is in the return trip and rather simple: fried chicken or fish, grilled chicken or a vegetarian option. The lunch took some time to be ready and we did wait a lot to go back of Cartagena, which was a little upsetting.

In the end, it is a fun experience, which might be somewhat expensive compared to the fare to do a boat tour, but it is worth it if you're up for...

We went with E-Trip Tours. On a Thursday, and the bus took us to the Volcano and had us strip everything down before we head to the volcano. Would highly recommend you doing so. The volcano was amazing. You can choose to get a massage in the volcano or not, would highly recommend doing so so that you can get the whole experience. We got a very nice massage and it was actually so very much needed and appreciated. It may not be the very best but it something and it just was very nice as we knew it’s better than nothing. After speaking with the locals in there, they mentioned how this is their job and they’re in there for hours and this is their only way to afford food and a roof over their heads. Tourists are their only income and they truly appreciate everything. They try to be helpful and understanding, truly they just want us (the tourists) to feel welcomed and enjoy this country and come back and spread the word. These minerals in the volcano is good for you, you can have it in any part of your body (no pun intended). We (the Colombians) call this a way to kill negativity that we’ve accumulated and refresh/cleanse our souls and body. Great way to start a new year to be completely honest.

Things to take note of: To the locals that you give your stuff to, you will have to pay a tip. For the washing in the water, the ladies washing you will touch you all over or ask you to take your swimsuit off, I recommend doing so unless you want to feel the mud all over your private parts… for the rest of the day. For the local who watched your shoes, to the person taking your pictures, to the person who would do anything for a couple of change or cash. Please pay them their tips, they are not paid hourly here like in the states. They’re paid by day and sometimes not enough to even have food on their plate or food for their kids. Whether you pay in usd or cop, or in change, anything would help them. Like I said before, it’s all about the experience for the tourists and for the locals it’s their day to...