Garland Ranch Regional Park — Attraction in Monterey

This hike is so boring you’d have to have the brain of a housefly to find it remotely interesting. It is less exciting than changing planes in Frankfurt airport and walking for 45 minutes. We walked for 2 and a half hours doing the entire thing and literally nothing to see other than the same trees. The waterfall was so underwhelming I’d rather watch my own pee flush down a prison toilet. Literally I had my 10-year-old twin boys join me in getting a bigger stream going for the waterfall. Spray some Windex on a rock and you’ve got more of a waterfall to look at and after years of drought the rivers overflowing; so it could only get worse than this if you do this hike after reading this. All of our local friends made such a big deal about oooh how great Garland park is that I feel sorry for them like they’re in the end of Goodfellas and go on about how great the pasta with ketchup is in the flat state of Nebraska in the witness protection program. This hike reminded me of the first 15 minutes of the movie Gerry by Gus van Sant where literally nothing happens but you watch Casey Affleck and Mat Damon walk without talking and nothing but the sound of their feet on the gravel. I thought that would be the most boring part of the hike as it was flat, open and nothing but once we got into the trails in the woods where you don’t see anything I realized the first 15 minutes of this Gerry hike WAS the climax of this total loser hike. Anyone who’s been to Austria, New Jersey or f’ing anywhere would rather join Paul Manafort than waste 2.5 hours of their life on this overrated loss of time. On a scale of 1 to 10 I rate Garland a 1.5. Exercise was the only plus.(BTW, it was a great hike. this is pure humor trying to make anyone laugh. Enjoy. Thinking of buying a...

Given the relatively small size of Garland Ranch, I am constantly surprised by the variety of ecosystems native to coastal California hills represented here. Most of any given hike will take you through California live oak with bay trees interspersed. However, journey up a few of the canyons to be surrounded by maple trees. A wander up the Garzas canyon trail will lead you into the quiet peacefulness of Redwood canyon where the dense leaf litter and thick canopy cut off almost all noise and you are shrouded in shade and stillness.

The trails can range from a casual stroll over flat terrain to some serious elevation gains with a few spots of 25% grade and everything in between. Pick a clear day and get yourself up to the top of Snivley's ridge (~1200 ft elevation change). The view from the top is...

Well maintained park with good directions on trails, self borrow a trail map then return it when you're done to save the earth, horses and dogs 💩 pooped on trails so watch out for those. If you want challenging course, take up Sniverly trail otherwise stay on Mesa, Sage to take you to Sky.

When you get to the top, do NOT take Sniverly's Ridge trail heading south Carmel Valley Rd , will end up in Carmel Valley Ranch golf course, then you have to walk another 3 miles on dangerous curvy Carmel Valley Rd back to Garland. Take either Sky or Garza Canyon via Sniverly's north/east side.

I went early 6AM, got to near end of Sniverly trail around 7:30AM, above the fog line, picture looks like heaven however I'm not ready to go there yet, give me...