Magical Fire Hydrant of Paw Paw — Attraction in Wyoming Township

Learn from my mistake, and do not touch the fire hydrant! Observe the magical artifact from a safe distance (at least 8 feet). Based on my measurements, the hydrant's magical properties are detectable (using the proper instramentation) beginning at 18 feet. At a distance of around 12 feet, the hydrants magical aura becomes physically palpable (of course, this exact distance will vary depending on one's sensitivity to such things). Use caution: when standing within 5 feet of the object, the effect can become overwhelming. Especially sensative individuals may enter into a shamanic fugue state... and we all know what happens then.

For my part, I was foolish enough to touch the artifact (a friend dared me, and I may have been slightly inebriated at the time), resulting in me contracting a troublesome jinx which lasted for almost a week. Needless to say, I was careful to carry a copper coin, three beans, and a peice of twine with me at all times over the days that followed, so as to minimize the effects of the enchantment.

Contrary to popular belief, it is actually preferable to carry these objects in your left hand, and the twine fragment must be at least three inches in length (in my experience, 4 to 8 inches is optimal). An amber totem would of course have been preferable, but good totems are hard to come by these days (first-world problems). Using the coin-bean-twine method (which I will henceforth refer to as the "CBT menthod" for the sake of brevity), I was able to narrowly avoid DISASTER on no less than twelve separate occasions in the days that followed. That Tuesday was a particularly precarious day, but I fear that to attempt to fully recount the events of that day may trigger a resurgence of the jinx. Besides, it would take far too long to describe those events in all their idiosyncratic glory. With this review, I simply wish to convey the gravity of the supernatural forces at play. Approach the fire hydrant with caution, and remember that the magical novice should never attempt to make physical contact with the artifact! Thankfully, I have extensive training in these matters, which ultimately spared me from having to experience the full consequences of my foolish blunder. They really should...

The Majesty of the glorious and illustrious Fire Hydrant of Paw Paw cannot truly be conveyed using only words. It is grossly underrepresented in modern media, and the photos cannot allow you to feel the Magic of being in it's vicinity. The perfect place to go during Memorial Day or Labor Day weekend, or if you are able to, spend a week or more in Paw Paw to experience the Magical Fire...

Made my sacred pilgrimage during the auspicious time of the Paw Paw Festival. Feasted on paw paw fruit and communed with the town's paw paw trees. Donned the ritual garments and approached the hydrant. Then I made the mistake of embracing the magical fire hydrant. DO NOT presume familiarity with magical beings. The curse I bear will follow me to my grave. Why friend-shaped, if...