星河湾酒店 — Hotel in Shanghai

Never have I found myself so searching for words to describe a hotel. As if the name Chateau Star River weren't enough to tickle one's delight, the experience continues that to a point of stupefaction. While what I experienced is far from being among the best hotels at which I've stayed and while there was no shortage of uncanniness, I should start off saying that I enjoyed the place. Now, on with the review...||||Chateau Star River is the kind of place that I expected in China in the two-thousand-aughts: an overindulgent facsimile of Western luxury with a name that fails to translate back into the languages of the cultures being mimicked. But this place is alive and well in 2019. While many of Shanghai's finest hotels eschew Chinese style for international upscale trends, they manage to assimilate well into Shanghai. CSR does not. The hotel is located in a planned community, meaning it fits into its immediate surrounds. But the chateau tower blocks in China have always bemused me.||||This puzzlement continues entering into the lobby of the hotel. Resort lobbies can easily be larger but, in terms of relative scale, this has to be the most overblown lobby I have ever seen. The central atrium portion is about four stories tall and is cased by four gigantic pillars, each about two meters across. The entirety is done up in marble (or its simulacrum) and this theme continues throughout. The decor isn't exactly classical European nor is it exactly modern. It is extravagant, lavish, gauche, gaudy.||||The grounds are both grand and labyrinth. Getting to different areas on the main level may require taking less-than direct routes. The fitness center and spa, however, have to be my favorite, as they involve traversing a 50-meter hallway completely devoid of any other diversions. (The fitness center and pool were absolutely fine.)||||Guest rooms get interesting. Going up the tower and getting off the elevator, guests enter a hallway that doesn't match the rest of the hotel. Here, instead of stone surfaces, guests are surrounded by dark, chic, plush floors, walls, and ceiling. Room doors blend seamlessly into the walls but, entering a room, it's back to marble and metal.||||Rooms and bathrooms are well-appointed and oversized. The bed was comfortable. The coffee, acceptable.||||A little more before I wrap this up: though spartan, staff was attentive and friendly. I didn't try the dining but the morning buffet looked and smelled great. The pools were gigantic, as to be expected and everything about the active facilities was great.||||While I spent only one night at Chateau Star River, it will be an...

This is one of the weirdest hotels I have ever stayed in, and not in a good way. Stay away.||||It is expensive and opulent. ||||The rooms are huge and well equipped, there is a big health centre and spa. It even has an art gallery.||||BUT BUT BUT||||The service is poor. The staff smile, but they are poorly trained, no-one speaks english and a shrug seemed to the only response to any request or complaint. ||||There is only one restaurant. It is expensive and it is not great. Chinese banquet: it is huge but bland, anonymous and not very tasty. Two of us for dinner but the food was "institutional" as though at a huge convention of other mass catering.||||There is no cafe, coffee shop or place for a quick meal or a snack.||||There is no bar. I have never been an expensive hotel with no bar. Bizarre. ||They have a 17th floor which would be ideal for a cocktail bar. ||||It is in the middle of nowhere. About an hour to the city, and a 15 minute walk to a shopping center. We ended up going there every night for food: cheaper & tastier than the hotel.||||Room service was expensive, took forever, was cold when it arrived and was tasteless. ||||It is a weird mix: the room & prices could be Ritz Carlton, but the facilities, staff & food are far below Marriott Express or Travelodge. ||||I tried to complain at the front desk, but - guess what - no-one spoke english and my complaint was, once again, greeted with a shrug. ||||Avoid.||||Did I mention...

The rooms initially looked great, but the service is terrible.Staff simply didn't want to do their jobs. I spoke Chinese, and the service was still terrible, I hate to imagine what it's like for English speakers.||||- I waited 15 minutes for check-in, despite there being 4 staff at the desk because they refused to make eye contact with the people waiting in line. ||||- The room looks like a copy of Las Vegas room, but bad functionality. Had problems with electrical cords, called front desk. They said "if they can solve the problem, they'd send someone right up." No one ever showed up, so I had to unscrew a problematic desk panel myself. Ridiculous!||||- I needed to get a taxi, and I asked a doorman "Can I get a taxi?" Bellhop said "yes", and then walked away. After 10 minutes of waiting, I ask him again, and he tells me to order my own taxi at another counter! Why not tell me before? Then finally, the taxi comes, he pushes away taxis that I ordered (!). Asking for help with faulty equipment in the room, staff never shows up.||||-Because the staff aren't fixing the problems, the rooms are slowly getting run-down. ||||In general, staff say "yes" just to get you off their back, but then don't do anything or follow-up. And we're talking about the simple, basic stuff here. ||||Hotel is in the middle of nowhere, got trapped here because a conference recommended it. Stay...