Clandestino Beach Resort — Hotel in Parrita

People said in the reviews that this was paradise and we were not at all disappointed.

Whether you choose to stay by the turtle-shaped pool or by the sea, you will be on confortables hammocks, deck and swinging chairs.

There’s a nice terrasse in every room with a swinging chair and a mattress. The terrasse is covered with thin curtains so you can see the outdoor while staying intimate. Around the rooms the area is super green and hosts iguanes, mini cute crabs (that can sometimes sneak into your room), sloths, the owner’s beautiful gray cat and one or two of the owner’s cute friendly dogs.

The beach seems endless and is breathtaking at any time of the day.

Food is delicious. I had papayas and mangos every single day. They also serve you omelets or fried eggs with bacon (I asked for avocado instead) and a choice between pancakes or something else (forgot the latter because I only ordered the pancakes which were incredibly tasty). At night we would order their wonderful cevice and some guacamole. The other plates we ordered were also good but not memorable. Their cocktails are delicious and pina coladas are served in pineapples.

The personnel is very friendly. Diane, the owner, is an animal lover and thrives to save turtle eggs. Also she helped us organizing and booking a great part of our unplanned vacation in Corcovado and it turned out great. Also while we were at Clandestino she booked for us a beautiful zip lining day. We were an hour away from Jaco and also planned a surf course in the nice beginner-friendly tortugas beach.

I’m not putting 5 stars because efforts need to be made in the rooms. The furniture is not very new so it can be pretty unsafe. For example there was a smell of burnt the minute I tried to use the hairdryer. Also they should check the light that is also a fan on the ceiling in every single room because it doesn’t seem stable at all.

For all the reasons mentioned above and despite the flaws we’re going back anyway because we felt at home in...

Location: yes, it is on a shore and very secluded but for a very wrong reason—nobody wants to be there ( pls. see the picture) ; once you pass a small village you would have to drive for another half an hour on unpaved, bumpy -dusty road going through what appears to be a former palm tree plantation dotted with many house ruins/shacks; the neighborhood is very rough. The beach is there, but the ocean has high waves crushing at the shore—I wouldn’t dare to swim there. Yes, you can walk on the beach , but the sun will bake you in no time for most of the time. There are no services around. The security guy has a gun. The location is basically a trap ( hard to get in and out) and if anything happens there to you there will be no help coming anytime soon. The premises: the online pics are highly misleading: everything is pretty much outdated/screams cheap; there are no brick and mortar structures, all made of wood and hay. The owner doesn’t have a lobby and you’d have to do a check-in in her office , which is also a place for 3 very large dogs to hang out. The pool is outdated, very uninviting. The owner is unprofessional, rude and untrustworthy. One of the dogs scared my daughter and I mentioned that it is not proper to have dogs around at the check-in area, after that the owner started yelling at us and eventually told us (her exact words) “shut up or get out”. The bottom line, once you paid online she keeps you hostage and you are at the mercy of this place ( BTW, she charged us total $290 per night and we stayed in Hilton in San Jose for $100 only) . My mistake was to book 3 nights trusting the reviews ( I still don't understand how this place got so many 4+ reviews ) and thinking that the place is professionally managed. My advice is to book at Jaco or Manuel Antonio instead--there are many way better, customer friendlier and more accessible hotels some even with direct beach accesses. Clandestino is not worth it even at $50 per...

Don’t waste your time or money like we did. Fair enough the bedroom was fine but the hotel is old and the photos were clearly taken years ago when it opened. The location is so secluded but not romantically rather because no one wants to be there; this is clearly evident because everything else around is derelict, resulting in an unsafe vibe. The food and drinks in the restaurant are totally over priced for the quality and quantity and the service was very unimpressive: the waiter forgot our starter and found it amusing and didn’t even think to offer anything to compensate. Worst of all after my husband I decided to leave after 1 night, we were refused any money back on our 7 night stay so we asked for the dismal dinner (2 mains and 2 drinks totalling an eye-watering $70) to be comped but the response from the receptionist was empty, and spiralled to become incredibly threatening as she said “its your choice but if you go without paying I will have to do a couple of things and call the police...” As the receptionist said she had no authority we pleaded to speak to the owner Diana - who had pleasantly welcomed us to her property the day before - but she refused to come to speak with us even when we knew she was just next door, common courtesy escaped her and very disappointing from the owner. We were left in an upsetting situation and had pay every cent. I have never left a hotel shaking with fear in my life and would not wish that on anyone. Showing kindness and understanding instead of being threatening is the Costa Rica vibe we know after having spent weeks this country - this was so so far from that. Do...