SwelleN2 / Blue Mountain Farm Lodge — Hotel in Swellendam Local Municipality

We stayed here for 1 night during a 3 week car tour from Port Elizabeth to Cape Town in October 2017. My wife and I are from Seattle WA and were travelling with my sister from Johannesburg. We are all in our late 60s. We prefer mid-range accommodation.||||In order to obtain a better idea of local accommodation standards and costs, I waited until the end of the tour before completing this review.||||Pluses ============||Behind the bunkhouse there was a wide deck, a stream and a pleasant nature area with birds. This area was more peaceful than the front. (The rooms should have faced this way, we felt). The farm had tame animals like ostriches, guinea fowl, rabbits, sheep and mules. The hosts were friendly and Angela gave us a half dozen eggs as a parting gift. Derek responded promptly when we told him of the light and gas stove issues (see below).||||Minuses =============||We arrived early evening at the SwellN2 Farm Lodge. Unfortunately, this was noisy, poorly maintained and overpriced. It was effectively a long bunkhouse, like a backpackers, with about 10 rooms mounted side by side on concrete pillars, with a shared kitchen. There was little privacy if one had one’s curtains drawn. People clumping down the long walkway to the main staircase in the center of the bunkhouse structure made the rooms vibrate and one’s tea cup rattle in its saucer. The kitchen and dining room were a mess owing to the presence of a group of young men who were on a 4 week plumbing assignment at a nearby sports stadium. It seemed these guys were either bachelors or were used to having women clean up behind them. I had to wash some of their dishes so that I could use the sink. The shared living room had a TV which the young men kept mostly on a high volume, and which made the adjacent dining room effectively unusable. Several times I asked them to turn it down. They complied, but soon another member would show up and crank up the volume. During our stay we did not see a staff member attempt to clean up the kitchen and dining room for use by other guests like ourselves. Fortunately the young men had gone to work by about 08h00 so we had a period of peace (but still a dirty communal area) before the 10h00 checkout.||||We reserved this on Booking.com. They rated it “Very Good – 8.2”. We find this unbelievable. Marketing hype? Their posting was also misleading, as unfortunately has been the case twice on this tour. The swimming pool shown in the cover photo was a small 2.5 x 5 m and was half full of unattractive looking water. Not usable. Neither was the Wi-Fi. (Booking stated “Outdoor Pool. Free Wi-fi). When we asked for the Wi-Fi password, the hosts apologized and said it didn’t work at the bunkhouse. They added that we might get a slow connection if we drove the 0.5 km from the bunkhouse to their farmhouse, but it wasn’t clear where guests could sit to use a laptop or whether 220V was available. If, as in Cape Town, the pool had been in limbo owing to water restrictions, Booking and our hosts might have pointed this out beforehand, and we would have been sympathetic. Instead, it simply appeared neglected, like the kitchen.||||When we arrived, our room had the single main light out. It was too dark without it, so I had to drive to the farmhouse to summon the owner Richard, who showed up with a long ladder to replace it. I held the ladder which he had placed over my bed to reach the high ceiling. Quite an operation. Our room had 3 dorm-style wooden beds with firm mattresses. The comforters worked fine. Two beds had reading lamps, the third not. The hot shower worked well. When my sister went to boil water for soup, the kitchen stove had run out of gas, which Richard then took another half hour to replace. There was no soap in our bathroom (I was told to “come to the farmhouse to collect some”) and no washcloth in the kitchen for washing dishes or for cleaning the many crumbs off the tables . Our room lacked waste bins, so Richard gave us the one from the kitchen, which from then on had no waste bin. A large humming Canola oil factory was situated 400 m away, and hiway N2 was 200 m away. These disturbed the peacefulness of what could have been a good farm experience. There were no bug screens on the windows, and when I tried to read my Kindle that evening, with a window partly open to avoid stuffiness, I was soon surrounded by dozens of insects. A useful introduction to Entomology in this biodiverse area of the Cape. I spent a while counting the species – perhaps 8.||||Neither the owners nor their staff seemed to pay attention to the little things which are important in an hotel. At R700 cash (no credit cards) for 3 persons, it was the worst value and the poorest accommodation of our two Garden Route tours (this one and in April 2016). At R350-400 it might have been passable. Perhaps Swellendam is an expensive place to stay, more so than Hermanus, Plett, Natures Value and Oudtshoorn?||||Summary =============||The accommodation was poor value at R700 cash (about USD 52). We would not stay there again. ||||My rating: 2/5. Location:...

In depth review with suggestions.

I was initially very enthusiastic when we drove up and got surrounded by nature. At the door of the cabin, we got greeted by a playful, little kitty. The cabin is a multi-house with a wood, cozy feel to it. There is plenty of space to sit and enjoy the view, watch the animals and chase the sunset. When we entered our lodge, we ran into a few issues. Once we unlocked the door, we were unable to lock it from the inside, nor did the door stay closed and we were forced to place a suitcase in front of it to keep it from "falling open" in the night. The window wouldn't close either, leaving us bombarded with bugs in the eve and shivering in the night when the temperature dropped. The bed was a huge plus, very cozy, clean and soft, the towels were clean and the bathroom looked lovely. We were missing some basic appliances like handsoap and a bin designed for lady business, while more luxurious items like a fridge and kettle were present. Little things like the lamp missing a cover, a constant beeping from just outside the window, and how every creak from the neighbours echoed audibly, gave the lodge an unfinished feel.

A big thing I want to mention is how safe and far away it feels from the road and the main town. It feels isolated, yet surrounded by nature which made me feel as if I was away from anything external that can make a stay at a strange place feel scary. If the owners polish some details and do some repairs then it's a nice place to spend a night or two while exploring the area.

Tip: hang a few bug lamps outside to stop them from going...

The picture advertised as the actual SwelleN2 Farm Lodge is not the only facility on the premises.... It could be misleading, there are other facilities on the premises which seems nice but we were in what seemed more like a dormitory..... (we were given the impression we'd be housed @ Blue Mountain Farm Lodge) but far be it from the name. We had enough space but the actual facility has much needed improvement because there's definitely potential. We could seriously have done with more kitchenware, eg bowls, even plastic bowls, etc. The showers/ bathrooms lacked doors or some form of closure from the open plan area/s. There was'nt even a towel rail, soap dish or hooks (for hanging something) in the showers/bathrooms. Besides, the swimming pool needs a serious upgrade..... with such a vast expanse of land, surely a decent sizeable pool would be welcomed. (the location of the swimming pool is also kinda hidden). Thank goodness the little town,Swellendam is not too far to drive otherwise staying @ Blue Mountain Farm Lodge would've...