Hotel Rural Conde Tio Medina — Hotel in Guía de Isora

Great views in well-situated rural location but it’s rundown. It could be a fabulous little goer but it suffers from cock-eyed priorities and very poor management. It needs a lot of work and the amount that gets done is pathetic. The swimming pool for instance is rather lovely and unlike the accommodation is well designed – almost an infinity pool with a great view - but it needs cleaning and painting. The whole outdoor area is well-laid out but it needs a lot of TLC. Apart from brief dabs at pet projects, mine host spends all his time uselessly shambling about. ||The good; very rural with lots of wildlife and very quiet at night. It is handy for the easiest and quickest route to Mount Teide and Caldera Canadas, Los Gigantes and the Teno Massif. Properly run and vamped this place would be the sort of lovely hideaway where seriously rich people would stay at a high price. Because it’s so rough you can have what they’d get but on the cheap. ||The bad; I have read the reviews and they are not wrong. I won’t bore you with a lamentable litany. Instead I will give you some facts and tips…. ||FACTS. There are six studio rooms with patio doors facing each other down a wide passage. These are not too bad but very bare. Only the two self-catering and the two bedroomed apartments [three in all] have sea views. The SC rooms have more stuff but are less nice and don’t have patio doors so they are dark. You have to keep the door open for light and that lets in lots of flies. All rooms have fans – you will need them. Mini fridges can be hired for 1 euro a day. ||The food. The evening meals are simple, homely and looked and smelled appetising. The dining tables [which are all outside] have table top stoves on which you can fry-cook escalopes and fish to your liking. The breakfast looks a bit sad and it’s all DIY. There is a bar but it shuts at 9 o’clock. Check out is 10 am; 9 am and missus mine-host has got her foot in the door. How crass. ||TIPS. You MUST have a car. A sense of humour also helps. Take a kettle. None is provided. The beds are very comfy but the sheets are not. Fetch sheets or jimjams etc. Fetch mosquito nets||TO GET THERE. Leave the TFI for the TF463 to Puerto San Juan and Alcala. In one kilometre turn right opp. the only road signs. In one mile go pass the orange walls and silos of the electric power station and turn immediately left . Drive downhill pass breezeblock walls for one mile to a red wall on your right. Turn left opposite the red wall into the rough track to Medina. Fetch matches – it’s a gas tabletop stove. Lights are poor – fetch ebooks. Buy washing up liquid and a pan sponge-scrub. The rooms get cleaned and the bedding changed when you depart and that’s it. Use their scrub for cleaning the walls. Don’t ask. The wooden chairs are rickety. Borrow plastic chairs and a parasol to sit outside. SC has a large fridge-freezer. Bread freezes well. No...

I stayed at this "hotel" last week, or so I had booked to do so for 7 nights but one night was far more than long enough here. |Firstly, prior to booking, I took 5 attempts to contact this establishment, at which point on the 5th they answered the phone where a man shouted at me for being unable to speak Spanish. I then gave him my E-mail address so I could liaise with them about my booking and room details. They never got in contact with me. ||Finally arriving at the "hotel" we nearly had a car accident whilst going down the dirt roads to the hotel in the middle of nowhere. Then when we got there he gave us a key to our room. The room was unlocked, there was a huge crack in the glass slide door which was already broken and unable to shut properly. The beds were camp beds with a thin itchy blanket on top. The shower head was broken and leaking. There was no water in the toilets. Wifi did not reach the rooms. The pool was not clean. Only 1 plug in the room worked. None of the "hotel" workers spoke to us. Everything was outside. The food for dinner was cold and in plastic containers and was covered in flies. Not as much as a glass of water was available to drink. |The whole place was a disaster and we would have been better off staying in a tent! |Now I'm not a pampered girl in any form, I love the rough and ready but if I come to a hotel, I expect some for of standard but this place should not be open to guests at all. I would not recommend anybody stay here. |After leaving, the man who said that we should be speaking Spanish, told me I had to cancel my booking and pay the fine. However the t&c's state that you only pay the fine if you cancel after booking or if you don't turn up for check in, whereas we checked in and stayed for one night and left the next day. |It would not have been safe for two young girls to stay here and we felt it was in the best interest of our safety to vacate this hell hole.||Do not stay...

Me and my partner booked this place for 10days for a holiday we did not even stay one night, from the pictures it looked very basic but not too bad. We got to the airport and straight away was told that no transfers go to this hotel even though we had paid for one! Then we got a taxi and realised absolutely why! It is in the middle of no where the road down to the property is basically a death trap and you wouldn’t find it unless you knew the area there are no sign posts! Anyway we got there and the receptionist did not seem happy in the slightest was quite rude and abrupt took us to the room gave us some quick basic info about food and that was it.. ||Anyway on the entering of the property the reception was boarded up nothing how it looks in the picture. ||On entering our room that supposedly had a patio area.. it did not it has a shared entrance with 6 other rooms.. ||The bed was covered in little bits of plaster board from the ceiling and also this went all Over the floor.||The floor looked as though an animal had entered and scratched it to bits. ||The door which was a sliding glass door had a massive crack which looked as if someone had tried to break in previously..||From the inside it was impossible to lock?? ||The fan was covered in black thick dust that would choke someone if they tried to use it. ||||The false pictures of this place ruined the beginning of our Christmas holiday and I have attached pictures to show the real place. ||||Avoid unless you don’t mind absolute below basic...