Kalani Oceanside Retreat Center — Hotel in Hawaii

This is Part One of my review, only focusing on the yoga classes I've had so far: The yoga class listed on the Kalani Wellness Center’s calendar described it as a “donation-based yoga practice dedicated to giving back to the community.” Sounds good, I thought…until I read the following sentence: “This class is designed for intermediate practitioners, with options to explore advanced elements.” If I hadn’t mentioned it to Hailey, the BUDDHI YOGA practitioner whose class I’d taken the day before, I may have skipped it given my need for new knees and hips. (I’d even had my doubts about Hailey’s class once I saw her tiny butt covered by barely-there shorts with “TWERK” written over them. And yes, she did offer many bootie moves I’d never done before, but overall they were decidedly more yogi than stripper). “Yes, you should go to that class anyway! The instructor Reo is really great and he will meet you where you are in your practice.” So when I walked into the studio and saw tanned, muscled, and handsome Reo, I thought, “Hmmm…so THIS GUY is going to meet me at ‘old, arthritic and in pain?’ But guess what? Instead of being intimidating or annoyed that he couldn’t teach his regular class, he jumped into modification mode just for me. He turned the class into the most healing YIN session I’ve ever had. He was incredibly sweet and made sure that every pose made sense for my body. His music was divine. He’s a Renaissance guy, skilled in all kinds of fields, self-sufficient, and doesn’t even take payment for his yoga classes. I highly recommend both Reo and Hailey as yoga...

This beautiful oasis has fallen into chaos and disrepair. It has been over a decade since I first stayed at Kalani, and now it is a husk of its former glory. The buildings are in shambles, amenities are broken, and no one appears to be leading this ship veering towards rocky shores. During my brief stay all common laundry was offline, wifi didn’t work, a toilet in my building was broken due to improper repair, the bed frames had mold or mildew, and I was startled awake to the sound of drums at 7:00 am (quiet hours go until 8:00 am). My stay here is pure revenue for Kalani - my presence costs them virtually nothing - and I am confused why the organization’s directorship fails to understand that maintaining a steady stream of happy guests is vital. AirBnB has no doubt gnawed deeply into Kalani’s revenue, and without leadership they have not only failed to adapt but also apparently abandoned and failed to leverage their capital assets. While other retreat centers and vacation hubs raked in cash during remote work, Kalani mounted massive losses. No amount of energy woo woo speak will solve for these poor management fundamentals. The insular board is ultimately at fault for not diversifying skillsets to form a coherent strategic direction for this once shining beacon in the middle of the Pacific. As for me, I probably won’t return again. So sad to see incompetence and indolence ruin what took...

I had high hopes for Kalani Oceanside Retreat given its peaceful setting, but our room was not clean or properly prepared—and as a parent, the experience was downright unsettling.

The most serious issue was finding a drawer full of marijuana, a knife, rolling papers, and a lighter—all accessible to my four-year-old, who discovered them while exploring. This alone is unacceptable in any setting, but especially in a property marketed as family-friendly.

Unfortunately, the concerns didn’t stop there. We also found: • A drawer full of someone else’s clothes, as if the room was still being lived in • A towel placed as “clean” on the bed that smelled strongly of body odor • Cups that were sticky and visibly dirty • Personal items left behind from a prior guest (hair clips, charger) • Marijuana roaches on the windowsill and back patio, plus an apple used as a pipe left outside

While I appreciate that the property refunded the cleaning fee and one night of our stay, the state of the room made us feel uncomfortable and unsafe.

This place could be great with proper management, but our experience didn’t reflect what was advertised. Until there are clear improvements in cleaning and guest turnover protocols, I’d caution families—especially those with young children—from...