We had a traumatic experience with caretaker Joe that has left our autistic son terrified and us reconsidering our membership.
My husband briefly parked in a handicapped spot (3 minutes) to drop off fishing supplies and reduce our son's walking distance. Joe approached us with a raised voice asking what we were doing. When I explained we were "just dropping off fishing supplies and leaving," he said, "This is a handicapped spot, can't you read the sign?"
We apologized profusely and said we'd leave immediately.
Instead of accepting our apology and being satisfied with our response, Joe:
Called us "entitled"
Commented on how he had to deal with this same situation 15 times a day
Said we were teaching our son how not to obey rules and setting a bad example
Told us to pack up all our things, get back in the van, and go park in the other lot, and even said "I'll wait"
When my husband started lifting our wagon back into the van, Joe suddenly said "you can leave the wagon"
I got frustrated by his backtracking and told him: "You just told us to pack everything up and now you're saying we can leave the wagon. You are not speaking respectfully to us and we have already apologized many times. You're projecting frustrations from dealing with this situation several times onto us."
More highlights from Joe: "Are you being respectful when you're breaking the rules?
-"I've told you to leave 4 times and you're still here" (I was still there because I was explaining to him that he didn't need to scold us and we were doing our best to leave.)
-"Next time I'll just call the police"
Me: "The police would treat me with more understanding and have a calm conversation without treating me like a child"
He dismissed me in a raised voice, saying I was the disrespectful one. I replied: "If you just told us what to do and we agreed, you don't need to pass judgment and make assumptions based on one interaction."
Joe eventually acknowledged he may have "overreacted" and "maybe shouldn't have said this or that," but the damage was already done.
Our son watched in horror and is now traumatized. He feels things so deeply and this interaction really affected him. As someone also on the spectrum with a heightened sense of justice, I had to speak up. We made a mistake, apologized, and were willing to correct it - but the additional scolding was unnecessary and disproportionate.
Please provide a contact number to discuss this further. We drove 30 minutes for what should have been an enjoyable last week of summer fishing, and instead we're sitting in our van trying to calm down our son. He is scared that he will run into Joe if him and my husband try to go fishing and he feels that Joe is a "scary man".
If there are cameras, please review the footage. I don't mind being fined for our mistake, but how people treat each other MATTERS. There was a better way for Joe to handle this situation with empathy rather than immediate and CONTINUOUS aggression. If it weren't for that, I would have remained quiet b/c I know we made the mistake. But his mistake was to pass continued judgement and treat us as less than, when everyone deserves compassion.
Previous to this experience, we had been enjoying our weekends here at JCC Camp. Both my kids and myself are on the spectrum and the lake has been healing. Unfortunately 5 minutes...
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