Markoff's Haunted Forest — Local services in Poolesville

My wife & I have been haunters (people who assist with designing, building, operations &/or acting in haunted attractions) since 2013. We've been traveling up & down the east coast visiting haunts since 2021. This year (2023) we drove from central Florida to a haunt in Georgia, then one in North Carolina and finally here at Markoff's Haunted Forest. It's a haunt we want to love but can't. Finding and parking at the haunt was easy. We found out when leaving that there is very little light and no markers of any kind (not a huge negative but a pain point none the less). Entry was also relatively quick and simple. The midway is huge but not very well lit. And a huge missed opportunity is that there are no characters free roaming in this area. The staff members that we tried to talk to were not very friendly. We decided to go through The Town first. The 'tram ride' was shorter than advertised and no where on their website or social media did it say that actors could touch guests in this attraction. We don't care for contact in haunts. We go by the rule "if you don't touch us, we won't touch you". Had we known beforehand then we wouldn't have paid money for this part of the haunt. The sets were really well done as was the audio and lighting. Actors were not well trained as they completely block the guests movement forward through the attraction (this kills throughput and allows groups of guests to 'bottleneck'). The next attraction was the Trail. This was supposed to be timed ticket entry using a numbering system. Our number was on so we entered an archway to discover a queue line hiding out of site. It took at least a half hour to get to the actual entrance of the attraction. Another missed opportunity is the lack of fast/express passes. We saw a group of two women allowed to enter by themselves but my wife & I were added to a group of 4...not an equal system. The sets for this haunt are amongst the most beautiful and unique sets we've ever seen in a haunt (including haunts all up and down the east coast). Lighting and audio is on point. But like the first attraction, the actors are poorly trained. Although there was no contact, poor timing, poor speaking lines, scaring backwards (scaring guests against the flow of 'traffic') were in abundance. Another negative, no where on the website or social media does it mention that this trail changes drastically in elevation. Not a big issue for us but what about guests who do have mobility issues? Though the visuals of this haunt are top notch, the lack of well trained actors really kills the vibe/enjoyment of going to a haunt. If Markoff's offered nights with no actors but all the lighting then we would consider attending that. When a guest gets annoyed then they can become angry easily. A saying for haunting is: anger and fear can not and will not exist in the same space at the same time. And this is what happened to us. Two tickets and a long drive for that... no thanks. Its to bad because we really want to love this haunt... we just can't excuse those...

If you do your research, Markoff’s Haunted Forest is consistently rated and ranked as one of the best haunted houses in the region. With that said, my experience at both the trail and town were one of the most lackluster mid experiences I’ve ever had at a haunted attraction. Below is a break down of experience.

Scare Factor: 1/10 Not once did this attraction get a single jump in my physical body or my heart rate. For walking for the better part of an hour and a half I was actually sad at how this place couldn’t get a jump out of me. And I’ll say this I am NOT one of those who acts too good to be scared. I wanted to jump with all my being but this place couldn’t pull it out of me.

Set Design and Atmosphere: 4/10 I’ll give it to Markoffs, the whole time I was pretty impressed by the depth of set props and designs they had at their disposal. I mean some of the items they have collected over the years this could’ve been an abandoned movie set. However in terms of how they utilized each set you could tell they overextended themselves and didn’t commit to one thing well. Maybe the town because it’s one theme but surely not the forest.

Actors and Performance: 1/10 -I have never been to such a large attraction where the actors were as minimally committed to the nuances of the set. When I say the actors did not use their surroundings, brains, or voice to commit to scaring the patrons I mean it. And this could’ve been because I went on a Sunday but nonetheless you’re open for two months and people drive hours out the way it was ridiculous how some actors were just sitting in a corner not doing anything or saying anything.

Storyline and Theme: 3/10 Again with the depth of sets they had it was really cool being able to see so many different sets and stories. With that said everything was glossed over and nothing flowed whatsoever. You did not follow along anything. You were just constantly thrust into the most shallow plot onto the next.

Value for Money: 2/10 For almost $90 for the town and forest in mixed on the value. To drive an hour away for most people and receive the experience myself, my friend, and other people I talked to received I’d say this isn’t work the value if you’re more than 20 minutes away.

Logistics: 0/10 This was the WORST part of this place and what made me write this review. It’s one thing to have lines because you’re trying to create standoff between groups but this place has lines fundamentally because it over sells tickets. The workers here fundamentally cannot create distance between groups and id be suprised even at peak hours if this place can avoid having people shuffled through stations like cattle in a way that ruins every suprise around the corner. In my opinion the ways that they maximize visitors would never make this place scary.

Bottom Line: I think if you’re a family and have kids you want to bring or if you’re under 18 this place is fun to experience. But if you’re a grown adult with other adults avoid this place. Your money can be spent other...

This was by far my WORST experience at a haunted house. I will start with the pros, 1.) The staff is pretty friendly overall 2.) The scenes are visually stunning. Other than that, if you're looking for a good scare or any sort of haunted house organization it's NOT here. My boyfriend and I take a Haunted house trip every year for our anniversary, we found markoffs and saw the reviews and videos and were sooooooo exited to check it out. We got there around 8 pm and waited about an hour to get through the ticket line. (Which I didn't think it was too bad given a Saturday night at prime time) then you're given a number and told to wait in the center circle, which is beautiful!!! Upon getting our tickets scanned we were told rhat the tickets only covered one trail (which they have 2) and the town hay ride but if we wanted to go through the second trail we would have to pay a additional 10.00 a person (also not a big deal but not very convenient when you're trying to purchase have everything online and be organized) so we get in and check out concession as we wait for our number. ASTRONOMICAL PRICES on food, eat before you come, I understand they have an overhead but it was 10.00 for a cheeseburger of food stand quality, 6.00 for kraft mac and cheese in a bowl and 5.00 for hotdogs plus numerous other things. After that, they announced that since there was soo many people it was suggested to go through the town hay ride before doing your trail walks. So we went into the town line and waited Over an hour. (Also pretty normal given Saturday nights ) we got on the trailer and drove for about 5 mins in just pitch black to get to a location where you get off and walk, well you're sent in in Crazy large groups so you never really get the scare and it's sooooo dark that you can't even tell where you're supposed to be going on route. Get through the 20 min walk to get a hayride back. At this time they're closing down its just about midnight. We noticed luckily the trails were still open, so we walk through the trail and the sets were amazing, some of the best scenes I'd ever seen but the actors and the scares were terrible. They didn't even hid in corners and just kind of starred at you. Granted I know this is the end of the night, but we got in at 8, paid over 100.00 in tickets for the both of us and REALLY didn't get our monies worth. I SEE where the money lies, but if you're looking for a good Scary haunted house this is not the one. It was one of the worst haunted experiences I'd ever had and it makes me even more frustrated that given allllllllllll of these awards and appearances that markoffs didn't compare to the hype and DEFINITELY wasn't worth and trip from Connecticut to go to. Well be sticking to the headless horseman in new York from now on.... please don't waste your money. If you're around that area, take the trip to Penn state penitentiary or anywhere...