Pat’s Yarn Barn — Local services in Saint Paul

It was a dreary, rainy day when my grandmother (Quite the knitter) asked me if I could purchase some fine yarn for her newest project, she was hoping to make progress on. It was the perfect day to do so. Unsure where I could find yarn that was quality, I decided to give it a Goog and discovered Pat's Yarn Barn. Under the impression that sheep might be there, and even more foolishly, actual yarn, I decided to bring the children since they're learning their animals. Upon arrival I find the eponymous Patrick mowing in the rain. Since no conceivably sane person would be doing this, I pull up slowly to avoid what might be a maniac while scanning for a barn. Once Patrick noticed he stopped where he was, left the mower on, and advanced on us with a knuckle-dragging gait of a lumbering silverback. Nothing could have prepared me for what followed. After a hello on my part Patrick went on a stream of consciousness whose lack of brevity was breath-taking. He explained how mowing is his free time, what his favorite old comedies were, and much to do about markets that I didn't understand. When asked about yarn he mumbled something repeatedly that sounded like, "on a go forward basis...," that gave me the impression of a history of cult activity. In fact, I would have to describe him as Shrek's Donkey in human-form, with the charisma and demeanor of a cultist holding up a hunting knife. As I try to end the conversation he takes notice of my children, who thought Patrick's unkempt nature might be their first glance of a sheep. The Jr's begin to cry with Patrick suddenly and aggressively tapping on their window, which I couldn't help but recall The Shining. Sensing the need to escape I floor it which sent gravel flying into Patrick. This certainly set his adrenaline pumping and caused him to pursue, somehow keeping pace, yelling what sounded to be some sort of economic forecast before my window was fully rolled up. We headed immediately home, yarn less, but with an appreciation with how short and dangerous life can be and spent the remaining day with my grandmother, who didn't need knitting to entertain her anymore.

My point is hug your loved ones and avoid Patrick at Pat's Yarn Barn as if your life depended on it. Because...

Well we had heard that this place was amazing for the yarn, little did we know the yarn wasn’t the best part. We pulled up to a gentleman who was hand watering his grass in the rain. The owner “Pat”, who apparently is married to this very pleasant older woman, were great people and very knowledgeable about many things in life. We engaged in discussions about spinning yarn and I’ve carried this with me as I’ve continued to craft afghans and other yarn spun items. Thank you Pat and your wife and thank you so much for the finest textiles in the country. 🤪 pat your wife is very lovely and she can stop worrying About the gap between her eyes, I love forest Whittaker…his eyes...

No sign, no one around. Looks like a...