Dollar General — Local services in Severance

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Five Stars for the Apocalypse Headquarters

I walked into Dollar General expecting a quick stop for toothpaste. I left two hours later with toothpaste, a pool noodle, a single flip-flop (size 14, I wear a 9), a can of Vienna sausages that expired when Obama was in office, and a burning question about whether I’d just been part of a social experiment.

The aisles are like a maze built by someone who lost the blueprint halfway through. You turn right at the off-brand Mountain Dew, dodge a suspicious stack of Christmas decorations (in September), and suddenly you’re in a universe where off-brand batteries and dog food share the same shelf. I half expected David Bowie to pop out and start singing “Labyrinth.”

At checkout, the lone cashier was simultaneously ringing people up, arguing with a customer about whether a coupon from 2004 was valid, and somehow running national defense operations from her headset. Legend. She deserves a raise, a nap, and possibly a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Dollar General is less of a store and more of an adventure. You don’t go in because you need something—you go in because the universe has chosen you to discover what you didn’t know you needed. In my case, it was a scented candle labeled only “Mystery Musk.” My living room now smells like a combination of pine trees and regret.

Would I go back? Absolutely. Because where else can you get shampoo, a hunting knife, and knockoff Oreos called “Choco Circles” all...

Why on earth are the doors closed 20 minutes before 10pm YET AGAIN! What is the deal with this place? I'm sorry you guys don't want to do your job but that's not how the world operates. This is really screwing people over. There were 5 or 6 of us standing around at the closed and locked doors at 9:40 all confused and pissed off wondering why this is happening for the 5th time now? Thanks for wasting all of our time. Some of us work until late just like you and can't get to the ONLY NEARBY STORE until 9:30. You don't just get to decide to close it up and go home because you wanted to go play fortnite with your buddies a few min early. Done coming here. It's...

This is a quick stop when you really need something and don't want to drive all the way into town for something. Of course, everyone in Severance is hoping for a full size grocery store one day, but until then this is the best place to grab that one item you need to cook dinner. I have stopped in a few times for that reason or to get a snack when I am on the road. The clerks have always been reasonably friendly and they typically have the items I am looking for, which is pretty nice for the size of the store. While it feels a little like a small town discount market, it fills the...