🇳🇿 Tauranga Day Trip 💨 A Couch Potato's Mountain "Conquest"

Woke up naturally late and drove from the 'Tron (Hamilton) to Tauranga—a supposed 1.5-hour trip turned into a real-life demo of NZ's worst drivers 🚗💥. Why do Kiwis tailgate like their bumper is magnetized? Either overtake properly or get a pilot's license and fly over us, geez. 🚗 Parking Pro-Tips For Mt. Maunganui climbs, park at Pilot Bay Beach (full waterfront spots). Backup option: the opposite beachside lot. ⛰️ Mt. Maunganui: A "Hike" for the Delusional Two coastal routes, clearly marked with distance/difficulty/gradient signs (NZ’s version of a "choose your own suffering" game). West Route Hack: Near the summit (300-400m left), there’s a stealth shortcut—gentler slope, 100m shorter. Miss it and weep. My Brilliant Plan: Took the steepest path (lol) and was drenched in sweat halfway. Summit winds = icy slap in the face. Bring layers! Time: ~40 mins up (with breaks), faster down (but quads will tremble). Verdict: Scenic? Yes. Worth it? Ask my jelly legs tomorrow. 🍝 Saltwater Café: A Hunger-Driven Mistake Chose this "seafood hotspot" per Xiaohongshu hype. Regrets served in 3 courses: 1️⃣ Steamed Mussels: Drowned in $2 supermarket Thai curry sauce. "Smoky" bread tasted like campfire leftovers. 2️⃣ Prawn Linguine: Sauce? Ghosted. Pasta? Al dente to the point of rebellion. 3️⃣ Grilled Octopus: $37 for mushy texture + blandness. Not bad, just... sad. 🌊 Other Sights? Maybe Next Time. Arrived too late for: Hot Springs ♨️ Waterfalls (15 mins away) McLaren Falls Park Art Galleries Silver Lining: Beach strolls > forced culture. PS: Tauranga’s fridge magnet game is WEAK. Shopped half the CBD for one—ugly enough to stay in the drawer forever. #NZTravel #TaurangaHikes #FoodieFails #MtMaunganui #Kiwiproblems #WeekendWarrior #ShouldveStayedHome