New York｜Kazumi Omakase 🍣

New York｜Kazumi Omakase 🍣 A last-minute pick off Google Maps, booked while we were still on the L-train—zero research, zero expectations, just two hungry friends and a $75 “13-course” headline that felt like a typo. The door slides open on East 14th, neon minimal, cedar scent hits like a calming app. 🌿🌸 🌊 Counter seats only, eight of us total; the city’s rush-hour sirens fade into a soft Spotify jazz loop. Chef Kazumi bows, half-smile, no English menu—perfect, we’re hostages now. 🏙️ Course 1–4 fly in like paper planes: kumamoto oyster yuzu pop, hotate with white-truffle air, akami zuke soy cure, fatty salmon torched tableside—each bite a two-beat haiku. 🌿Then the sea-urchin arrives, Hokkaido gold, chilled but already melting, sweet enough to make you believe mermaids invented candy. 🌟 Mid-flight carb relief: a hand-roll of crispy nori, warm rice, and negi-fatty-tuna that crackles like campfire before vanishing. By course 10 we’re genuinely full, wallets untouched by that sneaky “supplement” game—no $40 truffle add-on, no premium sake hostage situation. Just honest fish, rice seasoned like it’s been whispered to, and wasabi that blooms slowly, politely. 🍃 🌿 Then the comedy sketch: middle-aged diner in Patagonia vest, mid-bite of seared foie gras nigiri, raises hand and asks, “Excuse me, is this the Peking duck?” Knife stops, rice grains freeze mid-air, the room holds its breath for half a second—then we all implode silently behind our masks. Chef recovers with a zen bow: “No duck, only liver.” My friend turns purple trying not to laugh, coughs into a napkin, almost shoots uni out her nose. 🎢😂 🌊 Final savory: miso-caramelized black cod that flakes like theater snow. Dessert is a yuzu-espresso granita that feels like someone shrank an Italian summer into a shot glass. Check arrives—$75 pp, tax included. We walk back into Manhattan neon feeling like we hacked the matrix. 🌇 🌿No Michelin stars, no influencer neon, just a quiet room doing its job extremely well. Kazumi, you sneaky over-achiever, see you again when the craving hits and the wallet’s shy. #NewYork