Hungry Jack's Burgers Keilor Park Drive — Restaurant in Melbourne

It’s Hunger Jancks, we all know the deal. Every Hunger Jocks is the same: you walk in the glass doors, you use the touch screens to practice your hand-eye coordination.

They find you a sticky table amongst the refuse left by past travellers in the forest of laminate.

You choose a chair from the rotating carousel with amber and vermillion flashing lights to weed out the shapeshifters, and they do a facial scan to double check you’re DEFINITELY a human and DEFINITELY NOT a shapeshifter.

You wait for maybe 30, 40 hours, taking turns – one sleeps while the other wearily keeps watch. The mist dulls your senses but you stay sharp by humming gentle tunes from the old country.

You speak into the dark forest about your dreams. You play cards with yourself while your partner slumbers. The hours crawl by agonisingly slow, made worse by the acrid smoke that wafts through the forest from God only knows where.

After what seems like an eternity the gollum appears to deliver the ultimatum: Will You Eat, or Will You Die? You glance at your partner and both roll your eyes. Only a sucker would fail this riddle.

“Eat,” you both sigh in unison.

In a puff of smoke the gollum is gone, and before you on the table lies a scrumptious collection of sugary treats and gigantic bowls of glowing gooey slop. You feast.

Every Hunget Jarcks is the same man, we all...

Haven't been back since last year coz the Keilor store got such a reputation for being terrible. New Boneless Crispy came out and wanted to try it. So thought, give em another chance. Usually the second window takes payment but no one was there, the staff member pretends to not see me at the window and let me know to move to next window or not. Moved to last window and the employee had the attitude like she was hating life maybe her friends were partying on a saturday and she had to work. The chicken was not crispy, not hot. The coating isnt the crunchy one shown as advertised and the chips werent hot either. Next time if im craving HJ bad enough i'll make the trip to Brimbank. Never had a...

I went to keilor hungry jacks tonight Wednesdaythe 8th ...at 8.27pm .The girl held my ice cream while taking another order it was clearly melting so l asked for a fresh one as it would have dripped everywhere ,she agreed then another co worker pretended to take a bite of my ice cream clearly seeing her do this as the window was wide open ..so l let her know what l seen and asked for the manager ,she asked would you like another one yes actually l would l replied.... then the same girl that pretended to bite my ice cream was talking to another co worker like it was a great joke ...appalling behaviour, disgusted ,no respect for customers ...l will be calling to speak with senior management...