Le Kliff — Restaurant in Jalisco

I'm not one to typically write a review like this but it was a beyond horrible experience once we identified where we were being cheated. A few points that we noticed, that we could have avoided if we just left at the beginning, were:

We looked online at the menu for drinks prior to arriving, and they brought us out a more expensive menu and omitted the cheaper menu until we asked for it. (if you do the same you will notice they will not match upon arriving and they will not give you an exact price)

Once we asked for the cheaper drink menu they said the prices did not match since it was being updated and there would be a 30-50 peso difference (not a problem right?) That comes out to be about a $2.50 difference max. Unfortunately when the check came out they were charging us double. It was originally $220 pesos (look online to confirm) for the Espresso drink and they charged us $440 pesos per drink. So we owed $880. That's 20 dollars more. On the internet it shows the cheaper price just like the menu they were trying to hide from me.

For food we ordered Los Camerones de laLlina, and the Pesca Del Dia. The shrimp was fine and was a good meal, even though a bit minimal. The Pesca Del Dia had pistachios that unfortunately they did not de-shell, so it hurt the teeth of one of my relatives (and almost hurt my wife's if she didn't notice it first) when she went to bite down on a pistachio.

They charged us for water that was not sealed (they two bottles had a resealable lid). It's refillable. It tasted like tap water.

We expressed our complaints to the chef and the manager and they said they'd adjust the check so they charge us the prices on the menu. They did not! Once we received the check, it was the same.

At this point we were frustrated and simply paid for all of it. However, once we paid we noticed they did not reduce the price at all. So we went to complain to the manager again and he awkwardly looked at the other guy next to him and the guy next to him, with attitude, reduced the check but not entirely to honor the entire price according to the menu.

If you just accept the price they give you they'll rip you off when they get the chance. If you challenge them they wont like it and will try very hard to dodge it and get you to pay it anyways. They seem to be operating under the premise of "charge you and 'ask for forgiveness later'".

Summary: We still overpaid slightly. The service was dishonest. The food itself was average but dangerous to eat. Costed more than it was worth.

Recommendation to Customers: Avoid the pain of dishonesty and go somewhere else. Our entire trip to Puerto Vallarta was just fine - from the taco stands to Armando's in Nayarit. But once we had come to Le Kliff, it was very unimpressive and sketchy (besides the location/view, which I do not need to pay over $150 to enjoy). If you see these things start to happen to you then just immediately leave so it doesn't ruin your evening.

Recommendation to Owner/Management: Be honest. Even if the menu prices are different than online, be up-front about that upon arriving so the customer can make an honest decision. You may make more money immediately by being dishonest and not forthcoming, but overall your reputation will ultimately suffer in a couple years.

At this point I will recommend even the nearest honest taco stand...

It feels like someone described fine dining to this place, and they played a game of telephone. The prices are certainly fine dining, but not a single other thing is.

they have a drink menu for their 450mx mediocre cocktails, but they don't have a regular drink list "because of covid". They also have food menus though, so it is obviously not because of covid but they use it as a convenient excuse.

there are SO many service staff. They cleared two of the five of us at our little table, didn't clear the dishes from the other three, brought spoons for the next course for two of us, but not the rest even though we all had the same dish coming and needed a spoon.

the coatis (a racoon like animal) are super aggressive, and jumped up on the table multiple times. The staff did nothing to chase them away or keep them off the table. I don't appreciate having food stolen off my table by a wild animal.

the food was mind numbingly average. The mussels were decently good, but a far cry from being worth $25 usd. They were well seasoned, not overcooked, and the cream sauce was good. They were supposed to come with smoked bread which didn't come, even after we asked for it, twice.

the pork belly was chewey (unforgivable since they advertise it as cooked 16hrs. It was tough and it was dry. The sauce accompanying tasted like nothing. The sweet potato puree was lumpy and stodgy. The pickled Beets...well they were Beets, but there was nothing pickled about them.

the fire roasted shrimp was absolutely unremarkable. There was a generous amount of charcoal powder on the plate though, so it tasted all nice and bitter for no reason. It could have been a nice accent to a good Mole, but the mole had almost no flavour and the charcoal dominated everything.

3 of us at the end of the table ordered espresso. They brought all 3, gave one to my wife, walked all the way around the table (12 people) and gave one to the person sitting beside my wife, and then walked all the way around the table the other direction again and gave one to me. One of the servers tried taking the espressos out of the other servers hands, but they both ended up just holding the tray with one hand while trying to figure out who was supposed to be getting the last espresso. Only 1 of them got delivered to the right person.

we were a large group (24) I will grant them that, but no one was moving around or changing seats, and they gave us the bill split in two tables of 12. We weren't asking for bills to be split in any significant manner. We would have been happy with groups of 4 or 5 that were sitting at each actual table, but they claimed some "We can't open more than one table on our system" absolute garbage.

When you are charging 30usd for a completely run of the mill cocktail, and 100usd+ per person, the service needs to be better, the food needs to be better, the organization needs to be better. Everything about this place screams that people only come for the view. You may as well burn your money, instead of...

Pros:

The view is breathtaking as it is in many, many restaurants nestled in the Bahia de Banderas mountains. This is not a unique feature of Le Kliff; it is a ubiquitous feature in the area. What sets Le Kliff apart is that it is one of the few restaurants in the area that offers an upscale experience in conjunction with its stunning view.

Cons:

There are many ways to classify luxury in the service industry, but I'll separate them into two categories: 1) those that aim to make you feel like royalty, anticipate your needs, and ensure your comfort in every possible way. Think of the Ritz-Carlton/Belmond/Fairmont, etc.

Then you have the other kind, 2)  where luxury is designed to make you feel guilty if you don't consume everything they push you to.  Don't even try to skip any parts of their process, or they will freak out.

Sadly, Le Kliff is in the second category.

They start by leaving the NYC-priced house cocktail menu, which is composed only of Margaritas with an overpriced Tequila that we are very familiar with. So we asked for the full cocktail/wine menu. They said no. They told us to ask for a specific drink, and they would find out if they could make it. We like seeing names and prices because we have had times in these kinds of restaurants when we go for their suggestion and we end up paying $100 USD for a glass of wine. It's not going to bankrupt us, but we want to know.

We informed them that we had seen the menu online, so we were aware of its existence. Also, we wanted to know what we were going to eat before deciding what to drink. I mean, how else would you do the pairing?

They left and didn't come back for 20 minutes.

Then we asked for regular water and requested a bottle of Prosecco from the online menu, which they didn't offer (no QR codes, no physical menu, no nothing) because Prosecco pairs well with almost anything. They came back with an expensive bottle of water and our bottle. We have been waiting in the restaurant for at least 30 minutes before we finally got the menu.

By that time, we knew the online menu by heart, and yes, it was the same.

The lamb was just pulled meat with a few spices, the most bland lamb we've ever had, and the fish was the most forgettable dish of our trip.

We live three hours away from Vallarta, so we've been everywhere in the bay. There are fantastic restaurants in the area. We have been to Vallarta just to dine there. Sadly, Le Kliff, without the cliff, is just another restaurant that upsells and tries to extract from you at every moment. We would not go for the food, drinks, or service. The only use case is if you are a tourist who wants a view in a luxury place and does not have a very experienced palate. I understand the hype. Everyone there was celebrating something, so who cares about food quality, service, or prices when you are drunk and witnessing a magnificent sunset with your friends or...