Burger King — Restaurant in Braintree

Having to slowly trail the thirty something, lost in her recently purchased Frazzles, while ambling along the middle of the road leading into the car park was the beginning of a memorable experience for myself, wife and three children.

Before entering the establishment we noticed a plumber jet washing down what was clearly and abundance of fresh, raw human faeces; from the bushes and frontage. The 6 year old asked if someone had died.

The smell cut the air like a psychological disaster. I questioned our choice. We fled into the restaurant.

Phoenix Nights met Can't Pay Won't Pay in an atmosphere only Jeremy Carl could enjoy. Because Jeremy Carl is hateful. The ambiance is the perfect staging for a post apocalyptic modern day remake of the closing scenes of Ravenous.

Several items of the menu were "So Good it's Gone", not limited to my wife's tea, my children's Tropicana and, as the fish finger sandwich was later to betray: my 'King Fish'. I forget which member of my party commented, "I wouldn't serve that to a King".

The disappointing lady sporting the XL T-shirt with "Made in 1970. Born perfect." emblazoned across her stomach (technically) relieved the otherwise male prison canteen visual. This had a welcome calming effect on the children of the gentleman with the festival of neck tattoos.

Anyway, we've just arrived at Walton-on-the-Naze and judging by the clearly able people on mobility equipment in the carpark alone, and the obese children casting gunpowder fuelled 'snap-its' across their path I'm aware that the day is yet young.

Brexit...

This has to be the most disgusting Burger King I've ever been to...

You remember the scene in "Saw" where they wake up, handcuffed to a manky, abandoned old toilet and have to choose whether to cut their arm off or die? That's probably the level of cleanliness there is in these toilets.

The restaurant is dingy, poorly lit and grubby, I've been there several times, even first thing in the morning and it's still filthy, I think maybe the cleaner quit one day and never came back, or they caught a rare tropical disease from the toilets.

The car park looks like the 617 Lancaster squadron has been using it for target practice, with massive potholes you could easily lose a Fiat 500 in.

Unless you're actually about to die of starvation I'd avoid this place or if you're going to wet yourself. Actually scrap that, probably best to find a quiet bush somewhere as you'll probably catch something from the toilets and end up regretting your life choices.

I gave it two stars because the staff are nice, it's not their fault the franchise owner has spent no money on the site for a very long time, and seemingly doesn't want to...

I recently travelled along the A12 to visit family and have stopped at several of the services along the way in Essex and Suffolk and they have all been very mediocre but this one, The Greggs and Burgerking outlet is by far and away the worst. We stopped here in May and was shocked at how dirty it was and vowed never to go there again, only to mistakenly pull off there again in September, needing the toilets. It was still disgustingly filthy in fact the same dirt was still there. As you walked in the entrance on the left was pile tables and chairs cordoned off and caked in mould and cobwebs and grime. The toilets were filthy. There was litter everywhere and the one bin outside the entrance was overflowing. There were no other bins around the car park. I have posted this review so that google maps will warn never to go...