Cafe on the Water & Gift Shop — Restaurant in Chelmsford

This must be our worst eating experience ... ever. And I am including village cafes in Africa, India and even hamlets bordering the Sahara. We came on Friday lunchtime - the place was quite full but there were still places free. It was 40 minutes before anyone came to the table - even though I had gone and asked for service (of the surly waiter who seems to spend a lot of time standing still and wondering what to do). When his friendly older colleague eventually did come we were told there would be a 30 minute wait as they had not been expecting so many customers. After 15 minutes he came back and said they had run out of tuna ... and later that they had run out of bread and were "baking" some more. The only thing on offer is sandwiches (and I saw through the kitchen window that the fillings come in big plastic drums). You also get a handful of crisps and a spoonful of salad (probably bought in). In all we spent two and a half hours sitting in a soulless hall with a distant view of the reservoir and were served with eight sandwiches. I know British cuisine is probably the worst in Europe but it is surely not beyond them to cut a baguette in half and spoon in some industrial gunge from a plastic bucket. Our friends back in Belgium could not believe it. Avoid it - and warn everyone you know! NO STARS. Dave...

Lovely walk but the car park locked us in at 4pm on a Saturday. There is no number to call to get out. Their emergency number doesn’t work. WE COULD NOT GET OUR CAR OUT. We crawled through barbed wire fence to get to the car. The security listed on the gate denied all knowledge of this gate saying they lost the contract a year ago. We had to call Essex water who tried to get the actual security company to remotely open the gates but someone decided that in addition to these huge 10ft metal magnetic locked gates they need a padlock. Essex water then could not get through to anyone who might have a key for this lock. 4h later and we had to get a taxi home because there was no way we were getting our car back. Next day we had to return via taxi to get the car out. If i could give less than 1 star I would. Still fuming about the situation. The signage saying the gate closes at 4 is not on your way in and is in tiny writing. Had there been an actual emergency at the reservoir, they wouldn’t know because no one answers the emergency number and they wouldn’t be able to get the ambulance to the lake because of this padlock. It’s a lake with a car park and a few boats not a nuclear site, it does not need that...

Cycling to the cafe I though “it’s gonna be a lovely place, I’ll tell all my cycling club buddies that I’ve found a nice new route with a cafe right in the middle!” But alas! The manager values rules more than customers. He wouldn’t let me chain my bike to the railings where I could see it as “people might want to sit outside”. What? In November? With only three people sitting inside and probably a hundred of chairs to choose to sit outside (not that anyone would in this weather) my bike would have been an obstruction? By the way, I put it in a place where it would not obstruct anyone’s way at all. But rules are rules. Put your bike over there, they said. Over there meant just leave it in a place I cannot chain it and cannot see it. Ridiculous. In summer I’d galdly do this and sit outside having my coffee and admiring my bike and the lake. But rules are rules? Honestly. Rules have to serve a purpose. Fire the manager and hire someone who is a cyclist. I promise you, your business will skyrocket as it really would be...