Helzephron, Gunwallow, nr Helston. Cornwall.
Decided to have Sunday Lunch.
Having been told by another local publican that they did not recommend it, and that the Helzephron have a high staff turn over. Both slightly worrying.
I decided that we should make up our own mind.
Initial impression was that the staff need serious training, drinks were given but no indication of a tab, or scanning a card. More later.
I had booked a table for two adults at 12:45 and noted we had two small dogs. (Advertised as dog friendly) We where told table 8, but not given directions. Finding table 8, it was at the side of a door, as the meal progressed this became increasingly problematic. Each time the door was opened, every few minutes the blast of air blew serviettes and dust across our table. When the door was left open it was less problematic, after a while our dogs ( under the table became restless and began resenting the constant disruption)
No menu, no staff attending despite a male 'staff' wandering around aimlessly. A larger table next to ours filled for their booking at 13:15 having cought the bar staffs eye, a menu appeared.
Eventually a male staff member turned up, and took an order from the newly filled next table with whom we had shared our menu.
I indicated that I needed attention, he said he would come back. Didn't return.
I eventually snagged a female member of staff to take an order for starters and mains. When the arrived, they were dumped on the table with cutlery wrapped in serviettes that were stuck together.
Admittedly the garlic mushrooms were OK, freshly cooked but not particularly garlicky, hardly any garlic on the garlic bread, but pleasent enough.
Time passed, the next tables main arrived......
The door opened, closed, opened etc. Left open, closed etc etc. Each movement blowing us with a blast that dislodged lose items.
The pots cleared and main 'Sunday roast ' arrived, meat, Yorkshire, toasties with a dribble of gravy. With a selection of washed out looking vegitables on separate plates.
We presumed that we would be offered condiments and expected perhaps a gravy jug. Nothing arrived. Since the meal was cooling rapidly in the onshore air current, we decided to start.
Despite looking the part, the Yorkshire pudding was dry and hard as papermashie. The gravy tasted fine, but was in such short supply that the whole meal was dry.
The beef, adequate in amount but needed tenderising.
Initially when ordering the starter and main we were considering a sweet from the menu boards.
After waiting and waiting, we decided to go elsewhere for icecream.
I then could not get attention from staff to pay the bill.
I got close to walking out, but being fair, I persisted. And eventually paid the bill. I quietly expressed how unimpressed I was, tongue tied with...!!!
If this had been a budget 'Skeggness mass produced' lunch at a budget price, the lack of service and quality would be relivent and priced accordingly.
However, Two Garlic mushroom starters, two Roasts one pint of beer and a pint of Cola worked out at £69 and some oddment, almost £70.
As a regular visitor (several weeks per year) to the area who eats out, I Certainly have no intention of eating at the Helzephron until the service and local reputation improves dramatically.
I first stayed at and regularly used the Helzephron when I was in the RN Based at HMS Seahawk /RNAS Culdrose between 1981 and 1985.
Returned on numerous occasions over the decades, it has been a few years, pandemic etc. Since I have been.
It is an ancient building with interesting historical features and a once admirable reputation. Let us hope that it works towards it's previous excellence and survival.
Oh, for visitors of the English East Coast, Skegness and other East coast towns. There are many excellent pubs/eateries that currently can provide a brilliant Sunday carvery for about £10 a head. Sufficient that no starter needed, and enough to take your pet doggy a little home. 3 people including a drink each for a fraction over £40...
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