Golden Jalapeno Tex Mex Yarmouth Port — Restaurant in Yarmouth

I truly hate leaving bad reviews for restaurants, because I understand that business owners work hard to support their employees & families…Having said that, when a dining experience is as egregiously awful across nearly every measurable variable as Golden Jalapeno was, I feel that I cannot stay silent; I feel that I almost owe it to fellow diners to speak up.

Quite simply, the dinner that I recently experienced with my wife and a friend at Golden Jalapeno was the worst Mexican dining experience that I have ever experienced in my more-than half-century of existence on this planet.

Service: When we arrived for dinner at around 7pm on a Tuesday, there was only one other party in the restaurant. Nevertheless, the service throughout the meal was atrocious. The wait staff took a good 15 minutes to take our orders, another 10 minutes to bring our drinks and another 20 minutes to deliver our food. When we asked for easy things such as more salsa or sour cream, they either took an unreasonable amount of time to accommodate us, or they appeared to forget altogether. The waitresses were not rude, but they appeared clueless and dazed about their jobs. The owner of the restaurant helped with the serving but he had no sense of urgency either and seemed to act like he was the main event of the dining experience and not the customers. He continually strutted around the restaurant like he was “the big boss,” chatting with his friends while we waited for drinks & food or while empty plates remained on the table waiting to be cleared. The service experience was so bad that we just looked at each other in disbelief, as in “is this really happening?!”

Before getting to the food, I want to mention one specific experience that really annoyed me. The owner took our drink order and I ordered a Michelada, the first time I’ve ever had one. The drink was priced at $10 and when I asked for it, the owner said “with Tequila, it’s good.” I didn’t pay much attention to his statement, I just assumed that he was telling me what was in the drink. Well, first of all, the drink was watery and weak, about 50% ice, 20% tomato juice, and the rest a tiny Corona beer and no taste of tequila whatsoever. Worst, when I got the bill, I was charged $15 for the drink, $10 plus another $5 extra added for the Tequila. I thought this was shady and a total rip-off.

Food: I am not exaggerating when I say that the Mexican food at this restaurant was far inferior to the fast food chain that we all know. It was mind-bogglingly horrible! First of all, a word of advice that I wish I heeded myself: If you go to a Mexican restaurant and the chips & salsa are not good, immediately LEAVE. The chips at Golden Jalapeno were greasy and flavorless while the salsa (both red and green varieties) were watery and bland with little bits of raw onions thrown in. My wife and my friend both ordered burritos and I ordered the mixed fajitas. Everything was AWFUL. The burritos were actually not burritos at all by any definition, they were basically just a few bland, dry ingredients wrapped in a tortilla and they were quite small as well. The only ingredients in the “burritos” were rice and meat with a little tasteless cheese, not even the advertised beans were included. No guacamole, no salsa, no lettuce, no beans. The chicken was totally dry. The burritos were advertised as coming with a salad. Instead, they only came with a tiny little mound of iceberg lettuce and a few watery tomato slices. My mixed fajitas were disgusting and stingy. Both the steak and the chicken were dry and mealy, despite the fact that I asked specifically for the steak to be pink. There was no guacamole included, the first time I’ve ever ordered fajitas and experienced that. There were only 3 tortillas included and the whole dish was mostly overcooked, slimy onions and peppers. Hands down, the worst fajitas I’ve ever eaten in my life.

Pricing: Golden Jalapeno is NOT inexpensive, it is actually quite pricey ($22.95 for the combo fajitas, etc). If the food was good, I wouldn’t have an issue, but it...

You really should have a meal here! We're on vacation from Buffalo NY but 3 of the 4 members of our party currently live or lived on the US-Mexico border in South Texas for many years. We've experienced a lot of authentic Mexican dishes down there and, believe me, this restaurant checks all the boxes.

We didn't explore the parking lot but there appeared to be enough room for the capacity of the restaurant.

The portions are generous to say the least and I doubt you could find the quality of the food anywhere else other than the Rio Grande Valley or in Mexico itself.

We visited in the early afternoon on a drizzly Monday so we were the only ones in the dining room. However we saw that a party had just left and halfway through our meal a family came in.

My wife ordered the chicken Molcajete - one of her favorites - and said it was one of the best she's ever had. My nephew and our friend both ordered the birria, which I personally had never tried. She gave me one of her tacos and OMG it was amazing! Tender pulled pork in what appeared to be a baked taco shell with a semi-consomme dipping sauce. I went for simple, Carne Asada tacos in the Golden Jalapeño style - flour tortilla, lettuce, (tomato), Jack & Cheddar cheeses - yum!

My nephew also ordered a Carne Asada quesadilla not considering the portion sizes LOL. The fridge in our VRBO has his leftovers - 3/4 of the quesadilla and 1 of the birria tacos.

I'm ashamed I can't remember the name of our server but he was literally a one-man show. He was excellent!

The owner stopped by to invite us for free tequila on Father's Day. Sadly, we're heading back to Western New York Friday.

If you are in the mood for some authentic Mexican/Tex-Mex food, you owe it to yourself to visit...

I have never once left a review for anything but I had to leave one to warn people about this place. I am nearly convinced that a large chunk of these reviews are paid/false. There is absolutely no way that someone from New York believes this to be the best TexMex food they’ve had.

I’m often hesitant to try ethnic restaurants on the Cape because as someone who grew up in a city with easy access to a slew of great restaurants serving all different world cuisines, I am often underwhelmed. Unfortunately, saying that Golden Jalapeno underwhelmed me is being too generous.

Not only were these dishes plain, bland, and something I could’ve made as a teenager, but my cheese wasn’t even melted. The guacamole’s taste is most easily compared to that of the Sabre pre-packaged guacamoles you can buy at the grocery store. Someone in my party ordered a steak quesadilla and instead got some crumbled meat that looked like beef but tasted unidentifiable. We had horrendous service the night we went (waited an hour for our food and were rarely checked on), but I won’t even harp on that as I think we just happened to stop in on an busy night. The decor was also lacking and inauthentic at best.

The worst part is that I paid more for my meal here than I would’ve at better Mexican restaurants on the Cape and elsewhere. As for the quesadillas, Chipotle genuinely would’ve done a better job, and same goes for the guac.

The only redeeming quality of this place is their giant drinks. Someone in my party got the loco coco (lime and coconut) and it was great.

I hope you instead spend your time and money at...