The M.S. youth pastor at the Deep Creek/Kempsville campus lacks education, experience and common sense. One example of many includes an incident that occurred at our home last year. Our family offered to host a youth event with the understanding that the youth pastor would deliver a message and arrange activities for the youth group. This was discussed in a meeting prior to the event and both parties had a very clear understanding of their responsibilities. We would provide food and a place to meet and the youth pastor would give a message and run activities for the kids. Much to our chagrin, this did not happen. The youth pastor and his wife showed up to the event over an hour late. Prayer was not said over the food and a message was not delivered to the youth. We had over 50 teenagers running through our home with absolutely zero structure and minimal supervision. The youth pastor didnāt even direct the youth to thank us for hosting or to help clean up when the event ended. The clean up was left to me and my 65 year-old parents. The youth pastor and his wife were actually the first to leave, but not without first calling me a fighter. This statement, I assume, was in reference to when I had previously approached him regarding an incident that involved our daughter. A few weeks prior he had hosted a Bible study at his home, and unbeknownst to my husband and I, allowed the youth group kids to walk around his neighborhood (in not the best part of town) unsupervised. My daughter and her boyfriend were approached and threatened by a group of teenagers. So maybe to him thatās considered being a fighter but to me thatās called being a concerned and responsible parent. I make zero apologies for voicing my concerns. But, I digressā¦ Needless to say, I was very frustrated after what had transpired, so I decided to confront the youth pastor. What a mistake that was! I admit that I was very angry at this point, and my approach couldāve been better. However, as a supposed professional, the youth pastor did not handle the situation appropriately. Rather than behaving like an adult and listening to what I had to say (which I believe were valid grievances), the youth pastor stammered, and told me he wouldnāt/couldnāt talk to me. Picture a toddler holding his hands over his ears and repeatedly saying āIām not listening, Iām not listeningā. He promptly hung up the phone and ran crying to the associate pastor who then called me and invited me to voice my grievances in-person with him. I took this opportunity to speak with an actual adult, not someone pretending to be one. Two weeks later I received an email from the youth pastor inviting me to sit down with him and another pastor from the church. Sorry buddy, but you missed out on that opportunity. First of all, I do not have time to sit down with someone who is unable to handle a phone call from an angry parent. This is the business you are in - you will encounter angry parents (especially when you act foolishly)- learn how to deal with it appropriately. Second, I happen to know for a fact that the person that he wanted to sit in on the meeting happens to be a very close friend of his whom he lived with for a time. I highly doubt that this āmediatorā would be going into the meeting with an open mind. They have a dual relationship which in most professions is considered highly unethical. Why would I allow myself to be put into that position? Thanks but no thanks. The amount of disrespect shown by this individual was beyond appalling and I sincerely hope that more education and training will be provided. These kids have plenty of friends, they donāt need a 30-something trying to relate to them by acting on their level. They need a responsible role...
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