The Brown, Guatape, Autograph Collection — Hotel in Guatapé

This is a far cry from a 5* hotel. What you see in the pictures is all that you get as there isn't much else here. Pros: The staff are very friendly and accomodating. The views are incredible. The food in the restaurant is delicious, although no local cuisine on offer. The pool/hot tubs are great. The decor is stunning and the reception area is impressive. Cons: Double rooms are shown online as 33sqm/355sqft including a living/sitting area. The only way you get this figure is to include the balcony which is about 30% of the floor space. I had bruises on my shins from bumping into the beds as I walked around the room. The "sitting/living area" also had to mean the balcony because the only space for a chair was if it was shoved under the desk. The closet was small (single) with no space for large luggage and much of the desk was covered with the "mini bar" of full-sized bottles (definitely not child friendly). If you have more than small bags, you will end up storing your things outside. The very small bathroom was more a wet room as the drain is not fast enough to prevent water spilling out. They must be aware because there is a secondary drain in the middle of the floor. (Using the bath mat makes things worse). There is only 1 hook to hang things (including towels) The water pressure is too high for the small sink. If you turn on the water as normal, you get blasted. The bathroom is not big enough to comfortably change clothes, especially if the floor is wet. The resort is not an appropriate place for kids - in addition to the open mini-bar, there are shelves openly displaying candy and condoms(!) in the room. The pool is adjacent to the restaurant (all open air) and caters to couples in search of quiet. We only saw one family with children and many dirty looks from couples in the pool when the excited kids came out to explore. Other than the pool, there is nothing for kids to do here. The water in the lake was too low and the swimming area was completely dry. The gym is nice but not for kids. You must check in and out and someone at the desk points out the rules before you can go in. No other amenities were noted. The concierge only offers the hotel's own boat tours which are far more expensive than in the town. About 50% of the hotel grounds are accessible and there were many construction workers walking around. We could hear them from 7:30 in the morning talking on the corridor. The sound proofing is not great as we could clearly hear our neighbours. We did discover a beautiful garden (down a normal path behind the hotel rooms), but were chased out by someone telling us the gardens were closed. There is an elevator in the main building that takes you to the gym, but if you push the wrong button, you end up on the top floor that is under construction and looks like a horror movie if you end up there after dark, like we did. Talk about an accident waiting to happen...especially for children. We were so frightened, we hit the first button (nothing is labeled) and then ended up literally in the middle of the kitchen. This elevator should either be taken out of service or restricted to prevent access. There is nowhere in the lobby to comfortably wait. The only seating is logs with no backs. Finally, the hotel has beautiful fire pits sunken into the infinity pool overlooking the lake. We wanted to enjoy a quick pre-dinner drink in one of them (they were all empty at the time), but just as we were about to sit down, we were told we needed to reserve (for 3 hours) and that the minimum spend was COP 600,000 (approx. US $160). What?!?! First, all three fire pits were empty. Second, how can two people drink their way through that much alcohol and then make it back out of the fire pit? This left a bad taste in my mouth for the remainder of our stay. I expected much more from a Marriott property that touts itself as a luxury resort. The Brown really should amend their marketing to better manage expectations. It is always better to exceed expectations than to dramatically...

I would give this resort a zero star review if it was not for the kindness of just the waitstaff. The Brown/Luxe deserves a zero for several reasons. If you don’t have time to read my whole description, just know that the reception and management are duplicitous people who don’t care that you’re spending hard earned money and precious time. I say all the below to warn people so they don’t wind up in my situation.

First, when we arrived (after booking through Expedia) the check-in process was a nightmare and we became acquainted with a manager and her reception staff. They demanded paperwork that was not listed as a requirement anywhere on either their website’s policies or on the policies they communicated to us through Expedia. I identified that their request was listed nowhere. The receptionist said she would create an exception and asked for alternative documents from us. We obliged and provided them. As soon as the receptionist had printed our documents for her records, she demanded that we pay an additional 19% of the total cost of our booking if we wanted to remain at the hotel. When I asked her why, she said because we did not have the correct documents. I requested the receptionist and her manager refund the full amount of our booking because we were not at fault. It is duplicitous and slimy to refuse to refund us for not bringing documents that we had no way of knowing we should have brought with us. They refused to refund us. The only two paths forward were to 1) eat the cost of the full reservation and find lodging elsewhere, or 2) pay them an additional 19% of the cost and stay.

Second, even though we had agreed to pay the added percentage, we realized that this hotel holds itself out to be a “luxury” stay when it doesn’t even measure up to be a 4 star hotel. They offer and advertise spa packages and massages for around 80-90 US dollars. Missing from the description is that some unknown individual would perform the massage and related services but only in our own hotel rooms. There was no spa.

Third, for a “luxury” resort this establishment again fails to measure up as one of the other guests on the property had a party with loud nuisance like music until 2 am in the morning.

Fourth, this resort and its management is completely unserious and thug like when it comes to their handling of customer disputes. Instead of working to remedy tensions, the receptionist and manager aggravated the situation by calling their security guard to stand in the corner of the lobby while we tried to resolve where we would go and what we we would pay for staying at this hotel.

Fifth, as part of their “included” services the reception staff told us they would provide us transportation back into Guatape. Without any other options, seeing the included services as a solution, we booked their “transportation” to Guatape. We were only informed of some unknown cost associated with this transport and it was not written anywhere what the rates were but we were told that was the way out of the resort. We got into tuktuks which took us to the gate of the property and dropped us there. Then there was another set of tuktuks, supposedly not associated with the resort at all. We were told if we wanted to get to Guatape we needed to take this second set of tuktuks that were not affiliated with the resort and would have to pay for these at a cost undisclosed, 20k Colombian pesos for a 5 minute ride.

Overall, they lie to customers and shell them out of money at every phase of your stay. 1) the 19% forced fee that they did not disclose upfront, 2) the request for documents that were not in any policy so we had no way to prepare for them, 3) the massage and spa packages that did not have any location for services on site but instead required an intrusion into our personal hotel rooms, 4) the escalation to a body guard during check-in because of the resort’s own miscommunication, and 5) the sham with the tuktuks are ALL among the reasons you should not book here. Marriott should reconsider their connection with this...

This was an okay review, but some improvements should be made. I went back and forth on whether this was a 3 or 4 star review. I ultimately am going with 4, but only because some of the staff is dedicated to what they provide.

I'll start with the glaring negatives. If you plan on staying here on a points booking, be prepared to fight for your basic rights. I've never come across a chain-member hotel that will try and punish you for points. They try and tell you you're not eligible for a room upgrade even when you have status. They'll try and tell you that you're not eligible for the buffet even when it's listed in the terms of your booking. To whomever is running this place I implore you to ask yourself what even are points? They're loyalty. Loyalty to the brand that you've chosen to be a member of. I get that as a franchise you make less money on points, but do not punish point staying members. Points are more valuable than cash to the brand because were the ones who stay A LOT. Punishing our stays is backwards and I shouldn't have to put in calls to corporate or fight with your front desk for the benefits I'm entitled to.

Another negative was that the pool services was completely out of order for one of the days of our stay with no advanced warning or notice. I'd somewhat let this slide if it didn't seem like a regular occurrence as you can see in other reviews this happens somewhat frequently. The jacuzzi system a little weird. You can rent them without a fee for an hour, but only an hour at a time and no back-to-back scheduling.

Last negative was that I told concierge that it was my anniversary and they said they would put a note and chocolates in the room acknowledging this. They did not do this.

On the positives, the breakfast buffet was wonderful. The restaurant had mostly nice plates. The poolside beds were complimentary and nice to hang out during the days, though some of the fabric could use replacing. The rooms were comfy enough, though someone needs to fix the green blinking lights from the smoke detectors; it's insane I have to use a sleep mask to cover this up. The bathroom shower is hot with good pressure, though there's next to no barricade so expect a flood every time you shower. The valet was quick and efficient. The gym was wonderful.

I'd personally like to thank Juan de Dios, María Helena, Jose, and Carlos. They put in great work and made sure we had...