Luxsur Hotel — Hotel in Encarnacion

This might be the only hotel in the world that has a gas/petrol station as it's entrance. It's certainly a unique set up that I've never encountered elsewhere and when you arrive here, you'll be forgiven for thinking you're in completely the wrong place. Still, if you want to fill your car up whilst you're in Encarnacion, you won't have far to go from your bedroom.||||The hotel is rated 4 star, but I have to assume the star rating system is a bit different in Paraguay. I doubt this property would rate any higher than 3 star anywhere else. It is a perfectly nice, perfectly comfortable, perfectly clean property, but it's lacking the special touches that you'd expect from a 4 star hotel. The location otherwise is fine, being about 2 blocks from the main bus station and about a 10-15 minute walk to the riverfront beach. Since the beach is probably the only reason ever to visit Encarnacion itself, you may want to consider one of the properties closer to the water that offer better views.||||The reception is rather gaudy; all twinkling lights, modern styled, retro furniture, bright colours and cheap antiques, but the staff are welcoming, despite no English being spoken or understood at all. They say they'll change money for you, but no matter how small the amount you want, they never appear to have sufficient funds. Asking directions to anywhere is equally hopeless. Again, not a 4 star experience.||||The rooms are very small and cramped. The double bed took up virtually the entire space in my small room, with a desk, chair and closet all squashed into one corner. There is nowhere at all to put your bags. There is a flat screen TV, but it's a bit complicated to work, using multiple remotes, but it does have a number of international channels, including the US & British news channels in English. There is aircon in the room. There are no other room amenities such as water, a safe, etc., and the window doesn't actually shut properly. Again, not exactly 4 star options. The bedding is clean and fresh and the bed itself very comfortable.||||The bathroom is a bit austere, but the walk in shower has good hot water pressure, although a lot of the space in the shower stall is taken up by the water heater itself. They provide shampoo, conditioner and soap, but nothing else. Towels are fluffy and clean.||||There's a lot of weird noise inside the property. An alarm that sounds like a mobile phone is constantly 'beeping' 24/7 somewhere on another floor. It's so incessant, that eventually you'll stop noticing it, but it is actually very annoying. Outside there is a cockerel that will wake you up no matter what time you'd set your own alarm and there are dogs barking in the same compound. Not things you'd expect in a city centre location. It's like being on a farm.||||Breakfast is included on the 8th floor restaurant, which has 360 degree views of the city and a nice sun deck and plunge pool. The food is of good quality, with a few hot items, but oddly, there isn't toast. Tea, coffee, real juice, fruits, and an excessive amount of cake and sweets, which the locals seem to favour. Later, the space is open for lunch and dinner, but it's a bit pricey. They also provide room service, but since there's nowhere possible to eat in the cramped rooms, I wouldn't recommend it.||||This is a nice, modern option, with very good pricing. It's clean and well kept, but it's hard to see how it ranks 4 star based on the flaws. If it was ranked 3 star, it would satisfy every expectation. I wonder what 5 star properties are like...

The hotel is located over a gas station, that a unusual location and a dangerous one too. ||||The parking is 50 meters away. So you have to park in the gas station, check in, and then park your car. If it's night, every time you want to take out your car from the parking, you will have to walk in a dark street. By chance, Encarnación is still a safety city. By the way, there's nobody watching your car, i mean, no people or camera watch over your things.||||The hotel is a mix of bad taste deco and old reboosted facilities. I guess the place before to become an hotel it was a office building. There's is one elevator, and can take only four persons at the time, so if there's many guests you will have to wait to your turn.||||At first glance, rooms seems to be clean. But you will find filthy towels, recycled shower caps. Toilette paper basket has no cover. ||||Rooms are sound proof. That's good.||||Breakfast was ok. It's austere as a Ibis breakfast, not fancy at all. Buffet hot meals choice is small. ||||Pool was great, maybe the only thing that make the difference. It's located on the roof and you can have a pretty nice view of the city. ||||Staff was courteous. ||||For the same price you can have a real five stars service in the Awa or...

Al llegar ya te das cuenta que este hotel de 4 estrellas parece haber perdido dos en el camino, y las otras dos están peleando por sobrevivir. El ascensor, más viejo que la abuela de Mirtha, en cualquier momento estira la pata. Apenas entran dos personas y ya empieza a gemir como si le estuvieras pidiendo un milagro. Estoy seguro de que si subís con una pizza familiar, se descompone.

Para entrar a la habitación, olvídate de tarjeta moderna. Nos dieron un código más largo que la lista de excusas del gerente. Cada vez que ponía, sentía que estába desactivando una bomba de película de bajo presupuesto.

La habitación… bueno, si sos de los que disfrutan lo "vintage extremo", este es tu lugar. La iluminación era tan mala que hasta las cucarachas andaban con linterna. Tratamos de abrir las cortinas, pensando que iba a entrar luz, pero nos encontramos con una ventanita tamaño hormiguero y una vista romántica: una pared tekaka pegada a la ventana. Las luces eran lo mejor, se apagaban solas y parecía que jugábamos escondidas con la electricidad.

El extractor del baño... dios mio. Cuando prendías parecía que iba a despegar un avión. Yo ya estaba rezando y buscando el paracaídas por si explotaba. Entre eso y el vapor, sentías que estabas en un escape room.

Lo único bueno es que la pieza estaba limpia y la cama cómoda, pero parece que la limpieza diaria es algo opcional ahí. El aire acondicionado del paleolítico funcionaba, pero sin dirección. O sea, te enfriaba, pero por suerte no te volaba la cabeza porque ni fuerza tenía.

El desayuno… bueno, ahí tenés que madrugar como si fueras a misa, porque si llegás tarde, ya no queda ni agua. Y si llegás temprano, tampoco te confíes mucho, porque si algo se acaba, tardan una eternidad en reponer. Eso sí, los platos, vasos y cubiertos son más escasos que la plata a fin de mes.

El gimnasio, medio raro. Las mancuernas y bancas estaban decentes, pero la máquina multiusos parecía que ya se rindió, como el ascensor.

La piscina por lo que ví, estaba limpia, gracias a Dios. Parece que ahí invierten todo el presupuesto.

Y la cena... ahí tenés que armarte de paciencia. Te sentás, pedís, y te da tiempo de meditar, hacer yoga, escribir un libro y criar un hijo antes de que te traigan el plato. Cuando finalmente llega, el mozo ya está cerrando las puertas y diciéndote que no hay tiempo para repetir. Eso sí, el personal te trata súper bien, como para que no te enojes tanto.

En serio, espero que puedan mejorar porque, de momento, esas 4 estrellas solo existen en los...