Bashford's Hot Mineral Spa — Hotel in Calipatria

The streets are made of gold, and every visitor receives a gleaming crown adorned with many gems and precious stones, placed on their head gingerly by a beautiful Eastern European woman while a lovely fanfare blares from hi-fi stereo system. From there, guests are escorted into an air-conditioned palanquin, which is hoisted up and onto the powerful shoulders of a team of eunuchs, who take guests on a brief (yet admittedly bumpy) ride as they traverse through the jungle — such transport being necessary so guests do not attract any fire leeches while wading across the hot-spring-fed moat which surrounds King Bashford’s palace. The palace itself is breathtaking, adorned with exquisite imported and dutifully restored frescoes of antiquity all along every wall of the four grand rooms which surround the inner cloister and it’s immaculately preserved Bashfordian Gardens. Near-pristine marble statues peer down at visitors with two-thousand year old eyes, beneath extravagant glimmering chandeliers which appear to be twice the size of the neighboring Bombay Beach, and the largest of which holds nearly 60,000 shimmering candles. At dusk, the reflection of the grand chandelier’s candles in the great western window give the appearance of an army of will-o-the-wisps dancing and glittering above the surface of the Salton Sea. Lining the floors beneath every wall, visitors find the intricately carved and unfathomably detailed sarcophagi in which slumber the god-kings of Bashford’s past (perceptive visitors will even notice that some still bear the scarring from the molten lead which rained down upon them during the shelling of the Great War). King Bashford himself greets every guest personally with a goblet of wine and a warm embrace as he descends the gleaming marble staircase below his throne, at the far western end of the cloister gardens. The weave of his royal robes can be quite abrasive against bare skin, but the unpleasant sensation is swiftly dulled by the honeyed wine as it come flowing from casks the size of Volvos, and visitors are invited to drink to their contention as they bathe tenderly in the great tubs, the ancient waters cascading over their bodies lulling them into a dreamless sleep… thankfully, the minerals present in the aquifers which feed the springs are sufficient to keep all but the most gargantuan of guests buoyant, and safely held above the surface as they smile gently even in their slumber, drifting ever closer to the great waterfalls and then disappearing gently over the sides as they ride into eternity. They also have propane for sale, which is handy, because there’s nowhere else nearby with...

Upon my arrival at Bashford's Hot Mineral Spa, I immediately sensed the extraordinary experience that awaited me. Nestled at the base of the majestic Chocolate Mountains, the spa's location offers more than just a beautiful view. The mountains create a peaceful and rejuvenating setting, integral to the spa's unique healing ambiance.

The highlight of Bashford's is undoubtedly its hot mineral pools. Immersed in water that is both mineral-rich and perfectly tempered, I found my muscles relaxing and my skin revitalized. This is where the natural benefits of mineral water meet the tranquil desert environment, offering a truly singular experience.

I must commend the staff at Bashford's for their exceptional service. Their warm hospitality made me feel completely at ease. Their attention to detail, professionalism, and dedication to exceeding guest expectations ensured my stay was flawless.

Cleanliness and maintenance are crucial to me, and the spa's facilities did not disappoint. The immaculate condition of the premises, combined with the calming desert vistas, provided a much-needed retreat from everyday life.

The variety of activities at Bashford's also stood out. From engaging in friendly poker games to browsing community garage sales and enjoying BBQ movie nights, the spa caters to a diverse range of interests. I especially savored the BBQ ribs after a playful night at poker, a perfect way to round off the evening.

To sum up, Bashford's Hot Mineral Spa is a destination not to be missed. It promises and delivers an unmatched experience of relaxation and wellness for both locals and visitors alike. My visit left me rejuvenated, and I am eagerly looking forward to my next stay. I highly...

Upon arrival, there was no one at the office. When we pulled in, the place looked like a run down trailer park. We had driven for hours so thought we would stay that one night and then leave the next day but our levelling jacks got stuck. The friendly lady who started the park with her husband stopped by and we felt sorry for her as she told us stories of how she and her late husband used to run the place and that her son now did. She told us her son was knowledgeable about issues with motor homes. We told her we hadn’t seen him and she said he was playing poker and didn’t like to be told what to do so she wouldn’t go tell him to help us. Turned out he was one of a few men who drove by us on their golf carts. The pool was nice but the amount of flies were outrageous so laying poolside was a no go.after the second day we managed to get a local rev company to come and help us. When I left and paid, the manager/son knew all the details of our rev troubles but didn’t care. The “baths” were pretty grubby||Not only did we hate it, we don’t recommend...