Eagle Valley Golf Course & Golf Academy — Local services in Niagara Falls

Ah, Eagle Valley at 7am — the perfect time to get in 18 holes in under 3 hours… if you live in a reality where physics and scheduling make sense. We flew through the first 9 in just over an hour, feeling like PGA pros, only to hit the infamous “Crossover.” Here, they stagger starts between holes 1 and 10 so you can stand around for 15 minutes between tee shots, contemplating your swing, your patience, and your will to live.

It’s clear the business model is “profits first, customer experience later… or never.” The groups ahead acted like “letting faster golfers play through” was an urban legend, and the marshal must be testing a new camouflage suit because we never saw him once.

For $30, you get all the charm of a Walmart parking lot — with hazards. The greens need cutting, the fairways are sprinkled with ankle-breaking holes, and one divot was so deep I’m pretty sure it swallowed a golf cart. Add in the cut-off tank tops, cut-off jeans, cowboy hats, and T-shirts, and I humbly suggest a name change: Hillbilly Valley Golf & Livestock Exchange.

Bottom line: If you want to play golf at the speed of continental drift while dodging craters, this is your place. If not, literally anywhere else is a...

They should be more forthcoming about this being an executive course. Is almost all par 3's and even the part 4's should be par 3's. A 200 yard par 4?! A 400 yard par 5?! Really? They're just looking for any reason to make it look like it's not a par 3 course. The holes are very close together, I covered my head a few times after hearing "fore!" There's barely even any trees between fairways, just very compact. We flew through the front 9, but the back 9 took hours. On a par 4 you have to wait till everyone's off the green because it's only 200 yards. Plus it costs almost $40 U.S.! Crazy. I don't know what people are used to in Canada but this place would go out of business in NY. We won't be back. On the plus side, the girls in the pro shop were friendly and the starter was professional and helpful. The other golfers were nice too, since every hole on the back 9 was backed up 2 groups deep. All they people at this course are great, but the course itself is...

I came in to hit a bucket of balls at 8:05pm this evening. I was pretty disappointed that the staff members turned me away as they had apparently closed the cash already. The course hours of operation state that the course is open until 9pm. There were several other golfers on the driving range when I arrived but I was still refused service. I understand that it was getting late but there was more than enough time to hit a bucket of balls. I spoke to a young lady and saw another working outside the pro shop and couldn't help but feel that they simply were trying to finish up as early as possible. My girlfriend and mother are both league members at this course and I often utilize the driving range here while they are out for their league rounds...