Let me take you on a cinematic journeyâbut not the kind with popcorn dreams and Dolby explosions. No. This is the kind where expectations go to die quietly in the panhandle of Texas, in a place called The Morley Theatre.
Right outta the gate: they're closed on Mondays. What kind of theater closes on a Monday? What is this, a barbershop in the 1950s? I worked nights while i was here i could never catch a movie. Morley said, "You wanna unwind with some big-screen magic? Not today. " One star off the bat just for that nonsense.
Then, when they are open, they offer a measly two showings: one at 4 PM and one at 7 PM. Unless youâre a time traveler or unemployed like I am now (thanks layoffs), youâre probably not making it. Youâd have a better shot catching Bigfoot at the snack bar than finding a convenient showing.
So finallyâfinallyâI get laid off (silver linings?) and I get a chance to go. I bump it up to two stars outta sheer optimism and caffeine withdrawal. The young lady working the front? Sweet kid. Clearly overworked from the grueling two-show-a-day grind. She told me she was tired and ready to go homeâwhich had me cracking up. Youâre open, what, four hours a day? What is this, a speakeasy for the elderly?
Anyway, I roll into the lobbyâitâs decent. Small town theater vibes, sure, but passable. Then I get to the concession stand and itâs like a crime scene of butter and bad decisions. Popcorn all over the floor, and the teenagers working there? Absolutely enthralled with a conversation about dislocating their shoulders on purpose. I waited 7 full minutes while they all talked, ignoring their only customer. I had time to think about my whole life. Then, finally, someone breaks free from the worldâs dumbest podcast and asks if they can help.
I ask about the hot dogsâdo they come with chili and cheese? "Just cheese.â he snarled. Like I just asked if they serve caviar.
So I go with the pizza.And brother⊠it looked like something youâd find in a gas station vending machine in a horror film. A pepperoni coaster. Dime size pepperonis, Cheese barely melted. One bite andIwas already half way done, Right back down to one star.
But waitâthereâs more! I head into the theater. Place is oddly shaped. Thereâs a weird little arcade section I didnât dare enter, and then⊠a bar. Yeah. A freakin' bar. Thatâs the only part of the place that didnât feel like a middle school AV club fundraiser. So, back up to two stars. Iâm like the stock market over here, rising and falling with every experience.
Inside the theater? Tiny. The screen? Looked like i was back in science class. The chairs? About as comfortable as church pews during a hellfire sermon. They should hand out ibuprofen with the ticket. This place is in desperate need of an upgradeâbut you can tell they donât get enough business to justify it. And honestly, I see why.
So hereâs the bottom line: If you live in Borger, you got my condolences. This is your only option unless you wanna drive an hour to civilization. But if youâre just visiting? Hold off. Go see your movie somewhere that wonât give you back...
   Read moreThe place is very nice, especially since the purchase by Mitchell. The main theater has a curved screen for better viewing from anyway and automatic reclining seats. The smaller theaters have much better seats than the old layout as well. Prices are still much better than any of the nearby theaters I've been to, and you can now purchase tickets ahead online. There's a bar inside, but the business structure makes it a bit difficult to use, and the building structure makes it kind of out of the way. There's also a small arcade-type room, but it doesn't seem as well maintained as the rest of the place, most likely due to the lack of business...
   Read moreIt was super hot when we went there was no AC running in the top part of the theatre! And the only reason we sat up top was because there isnât enough sitting in the bottom main theatre. Seats go quick! The pickles and jalapeños taste horrible! Not to mention the nacho cheese, disgusting! Iâm not a person to write a bad review but honestly I have been so disappointed since the âremodlingâ, things changed, but not really for the better! Hope my review helps anyone thatâs planning on going, just a...
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