Baia Beach Club | Miami’s Overpriced Ocean View Trap 🌊💸
📍 Why Skip It? $200+ for bland food + salty service—this hotel poolside spot is only worth it if you’re paid to Instagram. 🍽️ The Food (Or Lack Thereof) 🚫 What We Ordered (& Regretted) 1️⃣ Lobster Pasta ($48) Only Edible Dish: Creamy sauce (but lobster = rubbery). 2️⃣ Grilled Octopus ($32) Salt Bomb: Tasted like the Dead Sea. 3️⃣ “Garden” Salad ($22) Literally Grass: Zero dressing, zero flavor. 4️⃣ Roasted Carrots ($18) Soggy & Sad: Like cafeteria leftovers. 5️⃣ Water ($7/glass) Scam Alert: $50 RMB for tap water?! 💢 Service Horror Story Eye-Roll Symphony: Our server acted like pouring water was a chore. Vibe Check: Felt judged for not ordering $100 champagne. Service Charge: 20% auto-added for attitude. 📸 The Only Redeeming Quality ✔ Photo Ops: Beachfront tables (golden-hour lighting). Poolside loungers (if you sneak in). ✔ What to Wear: White linen (matches the rage-tears). 💡 Survival Tips (If You Must Go) ✔ Order Minimum: Just 1 pasta + 1 drink (then leave). ✔ Water Hack: Bring your own Hydro Flask. ✔ Timing: Sunset hour—at least the view distracts from the food. #BaiaBeachScam #MiamiRipOff #PayForTheViewNotTheFood
