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🇳🇱 Dutch City Roast: Brutally Honest Travel Takes

1️⃣ Amsterdam (1-2 days) ★ Must-See The Dutch stereotype starter pack: Canals, museums, 🍃 shops, and red lights. Pros: Walkable, somehow smells okay, and has actual nightlife. Cons: Expensive AF (Lidl is your BFF). Bike lanes = death traps. Museums sell out weeks ahead (RIP spontaneity). Yes, those leaning houses are supposed to look like that. 2️⃣ The Hague (2+ days) ✨ Classy Auntie Vibes Clean, elegant, and home to Girl with a Pearl Earring. Free serotonin: Stroll around Hofvijver Lake (better than therapy). Skip if: You think "Vermeer" is a car brand. 3️⃣ Rotterdam (Skip if Short on Time) 🏗️ "Modern" architecture (but Shanghai does it better). Only go for: Sichuan food that almost tastes like home. 4️⃣ Zaanse Schans (2 hrs) 🌪️ Windmill overdose + perfect for that "I ♥ Holland" Instagram shot. Secret gem: The tiny clock museum (weirdly charming). 5️⃣ Giethoorn (Wallet Warning) 💸 Far, weather-dependent, and not worth the hype vs. Zaanse. 6️⃣ Utrecht (Underrated Gem!) 🏰 Medieval meets hipster: Climb the Dom Tower, picnic by canals. Pro move: Pretend De Haar Castle is your summer home. 7️⃣ Keukenhof Tulips (🌷 or Meh?) It’s... a very nice flower park. Manage expectations. #NetherlandsTravel #SavageGuide #SkipTheTouristTraps #AmsterdamVsTheHague #DutchRealityCheck 😈🌷

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Catherine Wilson
Catherine Wilson
4 months ago
Catherine Wilson
Catherine Wilson
4 months ago
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🇳🇱 Dutch City Roast: Brutally Honest Travel Takes

1️⃣ Amsterdam (1-2 days) ★ Must-See The Dutch stereotype starter pack: Canals, museums, 🍃 shops, and red lights. Pros: Walkable, somehow smells okay, and has actual nightlife. Cons: Expensive AF (Lidl is your BFF). Bike lanes = death traps. Museums sell out weeks ahead (RIP spontaneity). Yes, those leaning houses are supposed to look like that. 2️⃣ The Hague (2+ days) ✨ Classy Auntie Vibes Clean, elegant, and home to Girl with a Pearl Earring. Free serotonin: Stroll around Hofvijver Lake (better than therapy). Skip if: You think "Vermeer" is a car brand. 3️⃣ Rotterdam (Skip if Short on Time) 🏗️ "Modern" architecture (but Shanghai does it better). Only go for: Sichuan food that almost tastes like home. 4️⃣ Zaanse Schans (2 hrs) 🌪️ Windmill overdose + perfect for that "I ♥ Holland" Instagram shot. Secret gem: The tiny clock museum (weirdly charming). 5️⃣ Giethoorn (Wallet Warning) 💸 Far, weather-dependent, and not worth the hype vs. Zaanse. 6️⃣ Utrecht (Underrated Gem!) 🏰 Medieval meets hipster: Climb the Dom Tower, picnic by canals. Pro move: Pretend De Haar Castle is your summer home. 7️⃣ Keukenhof Tulips (🌷 or Meh?) It’s... a very nice flower park. Manage expectations. #NetherlandsTravel #SavageGuide #SkipTheTouristTraps #AmsterdamVsTheHague #DutchRealityCheck 😈🌷

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