London 1-Michelin-Star Portland: Noisy as Chaos

Tough Venison Wellington, £110 Tasting Menu Isn’t Worth It 👎 As one of London’s many 1-Michelin-star restaurants, Portland was once on my “Michelin checklist” with high hopes. But after the actual meal, all I felt was determination to “never return.” From being drowned in noise the second I walked in, to a disappointing main course, to a £15 price hike in a year, it totally fails to live up to its “Michelin star” title—after all, London has far better 1-Michelin spots; there’s no need to compromise on taste or experience here. 🌪️ Ambiance: Too Noisy to Talk, Michelin Elegance Gone Calling the ambiance “average” is being kind—it’s more like “eating fine dining in a crowded market.” The restaurant is small, with tables crammed tightly together. The noise of diners chatting loudly, utensils clinking, and servers rushing around blends into a constant racket. I had to lean in and shout to talk to my friend; if we sat even a little farther apart, we could only communicate with “eye contact.” Trying to savor a bite quietly? Impossible—the table next to us laughed so loud it always interrupted. There was none of the “comfort” you’d expect from a Michelin restaurant; it felt more like being on a morning rush subway, and even my mood for eating was ruined by the noise 😩. 💸 Price: £15 Hike in a Year, Value Plummets I remember checking reviews last year (or the year before), and their tasting menu was £95 per person. This year, it jumped straight to £110 per person—a nearly 16% increase—with zero “improvements to match the price”: the tableware was still plain white porcelain, the service wasn’t more attentive, and even the butter for the bread was still in tiny, basic packets. Plenty of London’s 1-Michelin spots have tasting menus in the £100-120 range, but places like The Clove Club give homemade gifts, and Lyle’s updates exclusive seasonal ingredients. Portland’s price hike just feels like a cash grab, and when paired with the disappointing main course later, it’s even more not worth it. 🍽️ Food: Great Amuse-Bouches Can’t Save the Main Course, Consistency Is a Gamble ✅ Amuse-Bouches: The Only Highlight, a Pleasant Surprise To be fair, the pre-meal amuse-bouches were the only “saving grace” of the whole meal. Take the “cheese crisps with smoked salmon mousse”—the crisps were thin as paper, with a satisfying “crunch” when bitten. The salmon mousse was as creamy as clouds, with a light smoky flavor, perfectly balanced between salty and fresh. I couldn’t stop popping them in my mouth. There was also “tomato jelly with basil oil”—the jelly was made from fresh cherry tomatoes, bursting with bright sweet-sour flavor, and the basil oil lingered on my lips with a strong aroma. It totally whetted my appetite, and I thought the main courses would be even better… but then everything went wrong 😋. ❌ Main Course: Venison Wellington Was Tough to Chew, Every Detail Failed The most anticipated dish, “Venison Wellington,” looked good when served—golden puff pastry glistening with oil, and juice oozing out when cut. But the first bite made me frown: the outer puff pastry wasn’t crispy at all; it was even a little soggy, with no “flaky layers”—like leftover food that had gone cold. The venison inside was a disaster: its fibers were thick and tough, hard to chew, and a bit dry. Even dipping it in the accompanying red wine sauce couldn’t fix the dryness. It totally ruined the classic Wellington charm. The other main courses were just “meh”: the seafood risotto had undercooked rice and bland seasoning, failing to bring out the seafood’s freshness; the roasted vegetables were even “lazy”—only seasoned with salt and pepper, nothing like Michelin-level food 🙅‍♀️. 📝 Final Thought: Try the Lunch Menu If You Must, But I’m Not Coming Back If you really want to give this “1-Michelin-star” spot a chance, go for the lunch menu—it’s said to be £70-80 per person, with moderate portions, and possibly more consistent than the dinner tasting menu (after all, lunch has fewer customers, so chefs have less pressure). It’s good for a “quick try.” But for me, London has far better 1-Michelin options: The Clove Club (which focuses on fresh ingredients), Lyle’s (with creative, delicious dishes), and even the niche Kiln are better than Portland. After this experience, I definitely won’t be returning—a good restaurant shouldn’t make diners “compromise on noise, price, and taste just for a Michelin star,” and Portland clearly doesn’t get that 👋. #LondonMichelinStar #LondonMichelin #UKFood #RestaurantReview #MichelinLetdown