😴 Smithsonian National Zoo: Skip It Unless You Love Pandas 🐼

D14 in DC: We saved the 1889-founded National Zoo for our last day… big mistake. 😩 Kids’ Dreams = Crushed 💔 🦬 Bison exhibit: GONE 🐜 Ant-eater: Nowhere to be found 🐼 Only crowd-pleaser: Giant pandas (line = 1 mile long, 2-hour wait) Zoo Vibes = Depressing 😔 🏚️ Facilities: Stuck in the 1980s (cracked concrete, rusty cages) 🌳 Greenery: Lush, but animals live in bathtub-sized enclosures 🐾 Species: Basic zoo animals (lions, tigers, bears) with zero enrichment Rant Alert 🗣️ This place makes Oakland Zoo look like Disney’s Animal Kingdom! 🌿🦒 At Oakland: ✔️ Spacious habitats ✔️ Animals actually move ✔️ No chain-link fences Meanwhile, in DC: ❌ Concrete prisons ❌ Bored animals ❌ “History” > animal welfare Pro Tip 💡 Skip the zoo and go to: 📚 Library of Congress (free! 📚) 🏛️ National Gallery (air-conditioned! 🎨) Or just… stay home. 🛋️ Final Thoughts 🌟 The National Zoo = textbook “government-run” experience. Unless you’re: 🐼 A panda superfan 📸 A photographer hunting “zoo misery” shots 👶 A toddler who’ll forget it by tomorrow…save your time for DC’s actual gems. 💎 Bonus 🎁 Local secret: The red pandas tried to escape twice last year. 🐾🚨 (True story—ask the zookeepers!) #DCZooFail #PandasOverPeople #OaklandZooSlander #MuseumLife