Tim Hortons — Restaurant in Camrose

A Rhapsody of Unparalleled Brilliance from the East Side Tim Hortons in Camrose, by Basil Fawlty

Now look here, you lot, I’ve seen my fair share of establishments in this wretched world, and let me tell you, most of them are run by imbeciles who couldn’t pour a cup of tea without setting the place on fire! But – and I say this with the utmost astonishment – the Tim Hortons on the east side of Camrose, that splendid little oasis at 6602 48th Ave, is nothing short of a miracle! A beacon of competence in a sea of mediocrity! I, Basil Fawlty, am positively gobsmacked, and that’s not a word I toss about lightly!

First, the staff – oh, the staff! These aren’t your usual gormless halfwits who’d forget their own names if they weren’t stitched on their aprons. No, no, no! These are the crème de la crème, a team so efficient they could probably run my hotel better than I do – not that I’d ever admit that to Sybil. They greet you with smiles – actual smiles, not those forced grimaces you get from the riff-raff elsewhere – and they whip up your order with a speed that would make a Swiss watchmaker weep. My double double? Perfect every time, handed over with a cheery “Have a great day, Mr. Fawlty!” as if they actually mean it! I asked for an extra shot of espresso once, and do you know, they didn’t even blink – just delivered it like it was their life’s calling. Extraordinary!

The food – good heavens, the food! I’m not one for waxing lyrical about a sandwich, but these chaps have turned a simple bacon and egg muffin into a work of art that Michelangelo himself would’ve envied. The bagels? Toasted to a golden crisp, slathered with cream cheese so precise it could’ve been measured with a ruler. The donuts – oh, don’t get me started on the donuts! The honey cruller is so fresh it practically dances out of the box, and the seasonal nonsense they come up with? Pure genius! I had a pumpkin spice something-or-other last week, and I swear it was the first time in years I didn’t want to throttle someone by noon. The soup? Hearty, flavorful, and served hot – not like the lukewarm slop you’d get at some other godforsaken hole.

And the coffee – oh, my word, the coffee! I’ve had brews from here to Timbuktu, and I can tell you, this Tim Hortons crafts a double double so sublime it could bring a tear to the eye of a hardened cynic like myself. It’s smooth, it’s rich, it’s perfection in a cup, and it’s consistent – none of that hit-or-miss rubbish you get from lesser establishments. The iced capp? A frosty delight that even Sybil couldn’t complain about, and believe me, she’d complain about the Mona Lisa’s smile. Every sip is a reminder that life, for once, isn’t entirely dreadful.

The place itself? Spotless! I mean, spotless! Not a crumb out of place, tables gleaming like they’ve been polished by a squadron of overzealous maids. The drive-thru? A marvel of modern engineering, moving faster than Manuel when he’s got a rat up his trouser leg. And the location? Smack on the east side, easy to find, with parking so ample even the most brain-dead tourist couldn’t muck it up. It’s the sort of place you’d actually want to linger in, though heaven knows why anyone would want to spend more time in Camrose than strictly necessary.

Now, I’m not one for sentiment – feelings are for people with too much time and not enough sense – but there’s something about this Tim Hortons that gets under your skin. It’s the little touches: the staff remembering my name (though I suspect they’re mocking me behind my back), the way they handle a queue of impatient locals with the grace of a royal butler, the sheer audacity of being so consistently splendid. I’ve been to Tim Hortons from here to eternity, and this one – this one, I tell you – is the absolute pinnacle. If I could give it six stars, I would, but five will have to do, as apparently that’s the limit of human imagination. So, do yourself a favor, you wretched lot, and get down to the east side Tim Hortons in Camrose. It’s the only place in this miserable world that hasn’t driven me to the...

Don't go into any of your locations very often. Always very busy. Anyhow, I decided today to go and have a treat.First of all, I had to wait more than 5 minutes before someone came to the till. When they did the comment was I should be using the drive thru, they are too busy to serve me at the counter. That person left as he was on his way to the back. I was just getting ready to leave when I heard a small voice for me to go to a different counter. I ordered 3 breakfast sandwiches, two with sausage, and one with bacon, ordered a small coffee with one and one, then also wanted a box of a dozen donuts. The young lady rang up the order and then disappeared, I waited and waited, the line up behind was getting longer. Then another young lady came over and at the top of her lungs said, " Your card has been declined.  " Sorry but I have yet to finish my order plus I am paying cash.  Ok so order comes but I only have one sausage and egg, one bacon and one donut and no drinks. Sorry but I paid cash for 2 sausage and eggers one bacon and egger, a dozen donuts and a coffee and a small drink. Now the fiasco with the variety of donuts. Wanted 6 honey crullers, 2  apple fritters, 2 Boston cream and 2 maple glazed. I arrive home (45 minutes away) to the family, open up the very taped box and there are only 9.  Your staff are incompetent. I have been ripped off. The chances of me using a Tim Hortons again will be in the very, very  far future. It was one of my most horrible experiences I have had

Not editing my post. Had a request to call your -1-888 have tried a couple of times but have been on hold for a long time. No is rushing to answer. Tried this morning at 8:30 and just now. at 7:45. I figure after 15 minutes on...

Weirdest experience I have ever had at a Tim's. After serving me my coffee, the young, blonde, clean-cut male employee commented that there was a 'strong smell in the place today'. I was already walking away, and his comment confused me. I said I could only smell coffee, and he responded 'that's not the smell I'm talking about'. I have no idea what he was on about, and I can't imagine why an employee would make a comment like that while serving food. Very unsettling and made me uncomfortable about consuming anything he had prepared, so I dumped out my coffee and will not be stopping here again. Bizarre customer service training or perhaps a mental health issue? Ruined...