Sweaty Betty's — Restaurant in Toronto

edit to respond to the owners : tbh it’s not at all surprising that instead of actually engaging with the points I raised, y’all chose to respond with a wall of defensiveness, misrepresentation and zero accountability.

being called “gross” by a bar I wouldn’t step foot in again means nothing to me. it's also wildly unprofessional.

i know how i show up in my community. i also know what’s been said about this place in BIPOC queer spaces for years. ask around. you can’t be completely unaware - i’ve only been here 4y, Sweaty Betty's reputation precedes me. since i'd had a good time there in the past, i used to defend y’all, even when POC friends mocked me. that’s changed & i’m sharing this publicly for anyone who, like me, hoped for better & didn’t listen. i think i'm entitled to protect my community, as you are yours.

it’s funny how quick you were to build a whole narrative about when i supposedly arrived while accusing me of making assumptions. i never said what time I got there, u just made that up & said i mustve come just as your performances began. wow, how convenient. one of many projections crafted not to listen, but to dismiss.

and the idea that I need to somehow “found” my feelings of exclusion/discrimination is wild. not every experience of racism is loud or obvious. a lot of it is about who gets welcomed and who doesn’t. that’s why so many POC don’t feel comfortable in your bar in the first place. they talk about it because they feel it. and when we say it out loud, this is the kind of response we get.

so yeah, don’t worry. i won’t be there “next time.” i would never support some bar that can't take accountability for making sapphic spaces feel unsafe/unwelcoming. you say there are so few. then imagine, those few get to be white dominated. if you feel a lack of space, imagine how WE feel when this is how the few spaces that exist treat us? do better. for yourself. for POC.

oh & don’t call POC “gross” when they express their feelings of discrimination/exclusion. that’s what’s gross

original post : i used to love this place but lately everytime i've been by it seems to be filled with straight people... thought it was queer but okay fine, i guess we all need to get our bag. but everytime i've been by in the past couple of months, its packed. im talking elbow to elbow, having to shove through to even make it past the door, waiting for 10+ minutes to order a drink.. all while strange men attempt to converse. again, okay fine. typical ossington bar

my issue comes about on may 16th, where sweaty betty's was presumably hosting a "dyke night"... pulling up, my partner and i saw that multiple groups of people were outside but as they have somewhat of an outdoor patio, we thought that was perhaps the case. we attempted to go inside (a much easier feat this particular night than it has been in the past) and got stopped by a bouncer (??) at the door and their dog?? apparently, they were "at capacity" LOL we looked inside and its the calmest the place has been honestly since before covid. people sitting at the bar, neatly spaced out.. queer (white obviously) people sitting on tables, chatting casually because they weren't having to scream above the regular crowd just to be heard. it was actually baffling to see. how is that on a regular night, y'all allow it to be packed to the brim but on sapphic night suddenly there's a "capacity limit"? lool just seems like y'all found another revenue stream and are maybe sometimes doing things for the "dykes" to keep up appearances.

on top of everything else, it was mainly white people (not surprising but worth noting as poc). my partner and i left because it seemed pointless to wait to get into a space that very clearly doesn't really want us. just sad to see that one of the only sapphic friendly spaces left sold out as well. i hope things change soon. posting this incase you're either 1) sapphic or 2) poc or worst of all 3) sapphic and poc so you don't waste your time trying to capture any of the light that was there 2021-2022.. it's over lol time for us to find...

Honestly this is a really cute place but my experience was ruined unfortunately by a staff member (couldn't catch his name) that was passive aggressive and blatantly rude to my friends and I. Upon the first ten minutes of entering we ordered a hefty amount of drinks (as he told us to do... we were getting settled/using the bathroom/letting the bartenders help out those at the bar first before ordering) when we got there only to be kicked out by him for, what I assume, not ordering more drinks. Funny thing is there wasn't a line outside and the place didn't have much traffic. We were going to order more drinks as it just reached an hour into our night there but I guess it wasn't enough for this dudes liking. My friends and I were sure to be mindful of the space and tip well for our drinks. I'm sure this place is an underrated gem due to how easygoing it was on a weekend night at peak hours but I don't think I'd recommend due to this guys hostility. I heard he's not around every night so it's luck of the draw whether or not you have to deal with him. He's a tall guy with a man ponytail, but you can recognize him by his eerie vibes. However, the bartenders and the lady at the front were great and sweet! All the best!

edit to respond: Thanks for the response! Happy to hear more from your point of view. Despite a friend of ours being in line to order the rest of us drinks as per your instructions when getting kicked out lol we'll note down that hit on our etiquette. Nevertheless, please don't get it twisted! The back room was quite empty with our group bunched up on one couch, leaving plenty of empty room with the tables and the other couches. Plus, not to mention how empty your bar was for this busy Saturday night. Even the outside patio was half empty when we were leaving. I'm not sure if you noticed the other individuals on the couch adjacent to us who left due to how uncomfortable they were from the situation. We ran into them outside later in the night and spoke about it. But I get it! Hopefully we didn't cause too much hassle. It was a great time despite this situation. Please do not hestitate to work on your approach and etiquette as well. The approach, tone, and body language with your communication does go a long way!...

We’ve been loyal customers at this bar for over 20 years (remember when they had the juke box?!), long before any of the current staff even worked here.

This place used to feel like home. Tonight, it made us feel like strangers - and worse, like we weren’t welcome at all.

After ordering just 2 drinks and 1 shot each, my friend was suddenly and inexplicably cut off.

We weren’t drunk. We weren’t causing any problems. We were friendly, respectful, minding our own business, chatting with each other, and having a great time.

There was no reason given - just an abrupt, humiliating dismissal.

It was offensive, discriminatory, biased, and completely unjustified.

What’s even more disappointing is that this bar prides itself on being “inclusive” - but our experience tonight proved that if you don’t fit into their idea of what’s “inclusive”, you’re definitely not welcome.

I will NEVER come back and I especially wouldn’t recommend this bar to people who remember the way it used to be (times have changed friends).

To the people who are reading this review thread:

Look at the owners response and how they talk to/treat their customers.

Making false accusations and statements like these, accusing THEIR CUSTOMERS of being “sexual predators” and “throwing hissy fits”.

That’s defamation of character (and making those kinds of accusations/statements without proof, publicly?!?)

Rude, unprofessional, and totally unnecessary (look at their responses to other reviews too for even more reference).

Nobody attempted to talk to me in private about this or explain what happened and why. In fact, the staff wouldn’t even look at or acknowledge me when my friend paid the bill. And yes, I was pissed off by the incredibly unfair way we were treated, without explanation, especially as a long-time customer.

Seriously think twice about going to this place, you may just get treated in the same way.

Go to a better dive bar where you’ll get better treatment, better drinks, better prices, and a better experience. There’s lots of better ones in the area where you won’t get treated like this.

(Adding the screenshot of the OG response from Sweaty Betty’s in case they...