Kartoffelkiste — Restaurant in Teltow

Kartoffelkiste: A Salty Surprise... Or Lack Thereof"

Oh, meine Freunde, let me regale you with a tale of culinary confusion and sodium deprivation. Welcome to Kartoffelkiste, the German restaurant in Teltow that will leave your taste buds as dry as the Sahara Desert and your wallet as light as a feather.

Now, let's start with the food. They say that simplicity is the key to perfection, but Kartoffelkiste has taken this philosophy to a whole new level. Their dishes are so devoid of flavor that even a salt shaker would feel like a misplaced treasure. You'll find yourself searching for that elusive sprinkle of salt, desperately trying to resurrect your taste buds from their slumber. Ah, the irony of a German restaurant that forgets the power of the spice!

In an attempt to be quirky, Kartoffelkiste specializes in all things potato. But oh, how they've missed the mark! Their mashed potatoes are so bland, they make cardboard taste like a gourmet delicacy. And don't even get me started on their potato pancakes. They're like deflated air mattresses, lacking both the fluffiness and the joy that should accompany such a dish. It's as if the potatoes themselves have given up on life.

Now, let's talk prices. Oh, be prepared to take out a second mortgage before you enter Kartoffelkiste. The menu might as well come with a disclaimer: "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here." You'll be dishing out more euros than a billionaire at a Monopoly tournament. And don't even think about ordering a drink unless you're prepared to trade in your firstborn child. Five euros for a measly coke? I could buy a small country for that price! Who knew the fizzy sweetness of a cola could cost more than the elixir of youth?

But fear not, my fellow food enthusiasts, for all hope is not lost. Should you find yourself stumbling into Kartoffelkiste by some cruel twist of fate, I implore you to summon your inner MacGyver and bring along a trusty salt shaker. Embrace your role as a culinary superhero and save your meal from the bland abyss. A sprinkle here, a sprinkle there, and voilà! Suddenly, the potatoes will taste like...well, slightly salted potatoes.

In conclusion, dear friends, Kartoffelkiste is a restaurant that brings new meaning to the phrase "money can't buy taste." If you're in the mood for an expensive salt-free adventure, this is the place for you. But if flavor, affordability, and sanity are on your checklist, I suggest you steer clear and explore the vibrant world of German cuisine...

a beautiful place. Yes, it's not cheap, but it's not very expensive either. At first we were told "only in German", but friends kept asking questions in English and, oh wonder, they answered in good English too! The dishes were all good to 5. The beer was also fresh and tasty. And at the end, they gave us a complimentary appetizer when we paid for it! And very, rarely, polite, unobtrusive, but quality service, just like not German service :)....

Wir waren heute zu Viert dort essen mit unterschiedlichen Gerichten. Die Kartoffelpuffer mögen ja hausgemacht sein, allerdings werden sie nach Vorbereitung eingefroren und ohne Auftauen im heißen Fett zubereitet. Was dann zur folge hat, dass diese von Außen schon schwarz sind und die Puffer dennoch kalt sind. Antwort auf die Reklamation war auch eher "Schnepfig" Räucherlachs war bereits an den Ecken grau durch falsche Lagerung. Rührei war aus dem Kühlschrank und wurde nur kurz warm gemacht. Konsistenz ungenießbar wie Gummi. Schweinesteaks waren zäh und kaum zu kauen und zu schneiden. Für den Preis von knapp 18€ wirklich nicht akzeptabel-Reklamation wurde aber ohne mit der Wimper zu zucken zurück genommen. Dafür gibts einen Stern- Konstruktiv möchte ich anmerken, dass die Küche schlichtweg Schulungsbedarf hat und man hier als Gastronom entweder die Preislage an die Qualität anpassen muss oder die Preise entsprechend der minderwertigen Qualität anpassen muss. Knapp 18€ für Essen, was zäh ist, geht halt...