Ristorante La Lanternina — Restaurant in Unione dei comuni Media Valle del Serchio

TLDR: Looked abandoned, staff clueless, chef sniffed his armpits, food tasteless, lipstick on the glasses. Gordon Ramsay, we need you!

Long version: Picture this: you arrive at a restaurant that looks like it’s been closed since 1995. No lights, no signs of life, except for the occasional tumbleweed. Just as you’re about to turn around and find another restaurant, a waiter appears—late, of course, as if she just stumbled out of a time machine.

This girl must moonlight as a mime because she didn’t speak a word of English. Very confused, and forgetful. We got a total of seven menus, which we later learned were ALL the menus they had. When we were giving our orders, another waiter interrupted and quickly took our menus because another table needed them. The waiter even forgot two of our drink orders before this. When one of our guests needed directions to the toilet, she was only able to get hold of the chef. He briefly smelled under his armpits before directing her. Hygiene was clearly not on the menu.

Now to the food... First up, the gnocchi. Smelled like glue, tasted like... well, I wouldn’t know because it was inedible. Tasted like dough, and someone just poured béchamel over it. Next, frozen tortellini. Ever tried biting into an ice cube shaped like pasta? Neither had I, until this place. Clearly frozen and ready-made. Not homemade at all. Then came the macaroni with wild boar sauce—tasteless, of course, like everything else. Seriously, their ingredients must be so secret, because they clearly didn’t add anything. They only left us with table salt, and nothing else. At least then we could add some flavor to it.

They called "seasonal vegetables" a salad. It was lettuce with a few slices of tomato, presumably thrown together by our multi-talented, albeit confused, waiter.

The pizza? More dough than a bread factory and just as bland.

Oh, and one of the glasses had lipstick stains on it. Classy.

The whole place deserves a visit from Gordon Ramsay’s "Kitchen Nightmares." It’s like the owners gave up and decided to run a tourist trap instead.

In conclusion, this restaurant may or may not have changed owners, but the reviews do not translate well to what we experienced. If you’re into tasteless food, poor service, and a surreal dining experience that makes you question your life choices, this is the place for you! Otherwise, do yourself a favor and...

A lovely meal. Very quiet. We were the only customers. We were welcomed very warmly (and Green Pass was checked). Hostess was extremely friendly. Primi were excellent. Freshly made Maccheroni with fungi and cinghiale (my friend who had this was very happy - not minced but 'pulled' and so tasty. ) Followed by great pizza and a wonderful creme caramel. Vino good and €6 per litre super! (Hostess persuaded us to have another mezzo and a superb Creme Caramel!) Grazie!!...

Posto caratteristico situato in una zona tranquilla del paese. I Piatti sono cucinati sapientemente e con attenzione per dare la possibilità al commensale di assaggiare piatti tipici del luogo, spesso fatti totalmente a mano con prodotti locali. Nelle due occasioni in cui abbiamo usufruito dell'ospitalità dei gestori, abbiamo avuto modo di assaggiare portate come il tagliere di salumi/formaggi del luogo, con crostini toscani (fegatini) o funghi porcini. Maccheroni fatti a mano con ragù di cinghiale, strepitosi. Ravioli con ricotta/spinaci e Pomodorini, molto buoni e delicati. Tortelli di carne sempre fatti a mano con ragù, veramente ottimi. Capriolo con olive cucinato molto bene e senza il sentore di selvatico. Pizza molto buona con impasto di 48 ore di lievitazione. Da non perdere assolutamente la loro zuppa, fatta magnificamente dalla Sig. Francesca. Ne ho provate tante negli anni....ma questa merita veramente il massimo dei voti. In definitiva il giudizio è più che positivo, considerando anche il personale che è risultato molto simpatico, premuroso e professionale, al punto di saper cullare il commensale e rendere la sua cena un qualcosa di diverso dal solito....