Three Stags Heads Inn — Restaurant in Derbyshire Dales

If this pub were a cat, it would be that scruffy stray tomcat with a missing ear that you either love for his character or hate because it lays on your garden just when you'd got your flowerbeds perfectly symmetrical.

Quite obviously it's not a cat, and cats would be well advised to steer clear of the Three Stags. On opening the door you may find yourself asked to quickly move indoors and close the door, to prevent the multitude of dogs, most of a working breed, from getting out.

So that's cats and people with a dislike or allergy to dogs off the list. Add lager drinkers too - you MAY be able to get a dusty bottle of lager if you're lucky. But don't count on it. You won't get a cocktail. You won't get an Irish Coffee served in a fancy class with some little individually wrapped chocolates on a china plate. Cider drinkers may struggle too, they usually have a couple but they are on the strong end of the scale, the dry being of the variety that leaves your mouth arid. Now, that's not always a bad thing if you like your ciders dry and strong, and your hangovers severe. You've been warned!

So, for a 5-star review, why all the negativity? Quite simply, because this pub may not be your cup of tea (you're unlikely to get one of those either!), so just to be clear - if you are looking for a Pubco operated "Country Theme Pub" then you'll hate it. It could possibly be the worst place you ever set foot in.

So what's so great about it? It's real. What you see is what you get. The beer, exclusively Abbeydale Brewery, is kept well and reasonably priced. Most of the patrons, aside from local people, are walkers or climbers - and the down to earth nature of the pub means that the people drinking in there are similarly down to earth. Which works well, especially as the pub is quite small (although cosy is a particularly fitting term when the fire is on) so your group may well be sharing a table with others. The infamous Black Lurcher beer - again brewed by Abbeydale and the pump clip exclusive to the Three Stags - is potent enough to loosen tongues and get conversation flowing. Just be careful, it's not a session beer!

The Three Stags serves food - you might have guessed by now not to expect waiter service and gold-leaf menus - just read the chalk board. It's home cooked and "good honest grub" - just the thing either after a day's walking or carbing up the night before an active day. Vegetarians are catered for, but vegans will want to take their own food if camping out, and cook their own tea. Or eat peanuts.

Which brings me on to the other great thing - the location. Out in the White Peak area, Wardlow Mires is a great base for days out in the Peak District, whether setting out walking from there or making a short car trip.

The farm next door offers camping at a very cheap price. Similarly, don't expect a lot in the way of facilities. It's a field with a single toilet. It's best used as a one or two night stopover - but incredibly handy after the pub. In the morning, just cross the road and try the Yondermann cafe for breakfast - sure to set you up...

A real pub for real people. Despite living in or around the Peak District for nearly 33 years, this was the first time I had actually gone to this pub. (Shame on me)

I had heard about it for many of those years but never thought to try it.

Anyway I digress. After a hard session caving (Yes, this is Limestone country after all), my mate and I thought we'd give the 3 Stags a try. We've had post caving pints in virtually every other pub in a 5 mile radius of Wardlow Mires, so......

What virtually every other review says is true.

If you want Lager, don't go here, they don't serve it - although there were some dusty bottles of Becks (and only Becks - Nowt else)

If you want wine, they have 2 types. Red or White. Your choice - just don't ask for Chablis, Sancerre or a Pinot Grigio.

If you want peanuts, don't bother. They have crisps.

If you want food. They have some. Occaisionally.

If you want to ignore your friends and play on your mobile. Don't. You will be glared at by everyone else in the pub.

The bar is at least 4 foot long with 4 types of real ale.

The room must be at least 4m by 4m square with seats and tables and a huge cast iron range with a real fire. Be prepared to share tables or stand.

What it has is character - something lost on all the pubco's in the UK. It was friendly, welcoming, warm, cosy, like walking into someones front living room (which it probably was all those years ago.)

Oh, there's a petrified (as in mummified) cat. Found bricked up in the wall some years ago during building work - something to do with witches. And the skeleton of a rat.

It's quirky. It's brilliant. It's unique.

After we had downed our pint, we said thanks. He said, you're off after only one pint? Us: Yeah, been caving, off home. Him: Do less caving, drink more beer. Us: We'll be back, don't...

When I say that "I know more great real ale pubs than any woman in this country" ... I defy anyone to prove me wrong and ESPECIALLY pubs in the county of Derbyshire! So I can say "xxxx pub is my spiritual home" or "yyy pub is my spiritual home" but THIS pub .... The Three Stags Heads at Wardlow Mires .... seriously IS my spiritual home!

I moved back to the North East about 5 years ago and went out of my way, just yesterday, to walk in there, smell the fire, kiss Geoff & Pat, stroke the wippets (one of which was standing ON the table when I left ... and I had to fight back a tear as I left the car park.

Don't go in there if you are unwilling to a/ share your space b/ share a table c/ want to use your mobile phone and wouldn't appreciate being told to "go outside" with it and d/ struggle to interact with strangers!

However .... if you a/ love surprises b/ value the art of banter & conversation (not politics or religion ofcourse - this is a pub after all) c/ love an excellently kept real ale and d/ happen to have either a friday night, saturday or sunday free .... then this is by FAR the most inviting place to land for an hour or so.

They don't really do food .... but they MIGHT do. They don't really like to serve tea or coffee .... but they WILL do.

I recommend you go and "see what occurs" but I would suggest you DO sit for a while! Don't walk in and walk out. Take your time. Look who's in. Listen to the craic and if you have anything to offer .... join in. And finally .... go again and again. Especially if you are on your own ... no nicer place to BE .... so long as you can apply all my various suggestions (see above).

I will...