Longs Arms — Restaurant in England

Hello. I wanted to take a moment out of my day to leave a review of a most delightful experience — and to personally give a shoutout to a member of staff, who I believe goes by the name of James Tolfrington. I do hope I’ve got that right.

Now, my family and I have been dining around Hampshire for many years — we like to venture out, try new spots, and pretend we’re food critics (my wife takes this very seriously). This particular place caught my eye with a big golden H on the wall. It practically called to us like a lighthouse calls to a weary sailor.

We found ourselves a lovely little table by the window, with very comfortable seating. That’s important for a man of my age — I was quite pleased I didn’t need my lumbar support cushion. Years of working in a cubicle chair have taken their toll, though now I mostly use the computer for pleasure… mind you, half the time I can’t tell if I’ve opened an email or a weather app.

Anyway, back to the point — the menu was overwhelming at first (so many choices!), but I was delighted to see something for everyone.

My wife ordered the classic fish and chips — and let me tell you, the size of that fish could feed a family of four and still leave leftovers. I haven’t seen her eyes light up at something that size since our honeymoon in Torquay. She was very pleased. And as Grandad Billy always used to say, a happy wife is a happy life — wise man, shame about his gambling.

Now, I’m a meat man — always have been, always will be — and I went for the mini mixed grill. In my youth I’d have tackled the full-size one, no problem, but these days the mini suits me just fine. The meat was cooked beautifully and came with a slice of pineapple, which made it feel quite exotic. I’ve started enjoying fruit with my meals lately — strange how the palate changes over time.

Speaking of fruit — you simply can’t beat an apple crumble for pudding. When I saw an apple and berry crumble on the menu, served with hot custard no less, it became the undisputed highlight of my day. My wife had something for dessert too, but I couldn’t tell you what it was — I was entirely devoted to my crumble for the glorious five minutes it lasted.

We’ll definitely be visiting Trowbridge again, and the Long Arms will be top of our list for another splendid meal.

I’ve used one of those new speech-to-text apps to write this review — I hope it’s captured everything correctly. End of review. Is that it? How do I send— oh for heaven’s sake, Sandra! The cat’s in the bedroom again, I’m trying to do this review and it won’t stop — can you come sort this internet nonsense out? I don’t like this...

DON’T GO HERE!!! Upon entering the Long Arms (Hungry horse) we were told about the one way system and the importance of its use, it wasn’t followed by any members of staff throughout our visit; we felt as though they should have been leading by example. The majority of staff weren’t wearing any face masks or shields and had no visible signs of exemption (such as sunflower lanyards). We were taken to our table where we found the chairs had crumbs/pieces of food and definitely hadn’t been sanitised before the first customers of the day (that being us). We then noticed there were snail trails all over the floor and flys everywhere, this disturbed us as this indicated some level of uncleanliness. We weren’t informed upon entering that certain meals were unavailable on the menu until we went to order them. When our food arrived one of our orders was incorrect, we found that this is likely due to the menu having 4 different items with the same name. When we paid for our food and drinks we didn’t get offered a recipt which may have allowed us to notice the error sooner. The condiments sachets we were provided came in a basket (with the cutlery) and left us unsure if they were sanitary; which deterred us from using them. The cutlery arrived dirty and other pieces missing althogether. When the incorrect meal came it wasn’t dealt with correctly and came across as very unprofessional (there was no apology offered and they were rude blaming the customer for their error). Before leaving after our disastrous meal we completed the NHS Track and Trace which they provided; this was incorrectly named NHS Test and Trace, which again seems really unprofessional and as if no preparation had gone into the overall experience. When we checked our meals at home to understand the incorrect order issue we noticed that despite us providing a discount card and the staff member telling us it had been applied, it in fact was not applied. In general the whole experience was bad, the staff were unprofessional, uncaring and rude, the building and cutlery were unsanitary, again the whole experience was just bad. So now, I just repeat do not go to the Hungry Horse in Trowbridge, literally anywhere else would be better and safer;...

Disappointed with our whole experience! We initially visited for a Sunday roast dinner, we were kept waiting an hour before we beckoned the waiter to ask when our meal was coming! The two roasts only consisted of two sprouts which I could not put a fork through it, French beans left with their tails on also uncooked and a burnt stuffing ball! I asked for chicken which I got, my mum had beef with an additional two slices of pork!? To make matters worse my husband ordered gammon with egg n chips, they had forgotten the egg! Okay they were busy and attending to a large table of 18 guests so we put this down to lack of staff? My mum made another booking for a special Christmas for her grandchildren! We had already organised their chosen meals and went through the list with the barmaid who had written down our request and added that the table will be dressed for Christmas! When we arrived there appeared to be no table ready, we all stood in the middle of the restaurant looking for help. The barmaid came to us, we obviously said we're here for our party of 14, the barmaid was confused and said she was unaware, she then added that they were short staffed and she was on her own, we were upset and told her that this wasn't our fault, she then muttered without making eye contact, "I'm not being spoken to like this, I'm getting the manager" wow what did we say? The manager came down and apologised, they quickly made up our table, retook our orders again! We didn't have to wait long for our food but my god everything was deep fried to death! There was a lot of food wasted! The manager came back to us and offered a mince pie 🙄 to be honest we had enough by then and just put on a smile and thanked them! We were worried that the barmaid would kick off again. The restaurant looks like they need a serious refurb! The booth seats have foam hanging out at the ends, clearly visible for all to see! Odd bits of food left on tables and the burnt stuffing ball came back to haunt me as there was one on the chair behind me! We definitely won't...