The Cricketers on the Green — Restaurant in Guildford

The Single Worst Restaurant Experience of My Life: Buckle Up.

It all began innocently enough at 4 p.m., a Sunday roast to celebrate two milestones, my mum’s birthday and my sister’s wedding anniversary. Six adults, four kids, all ready for a feast at The Cricketers on the Green. What could go wrong? Oh, everything. Everything could go wrong.

We arrived promptly at 4 p.m. only to be told that our table wasn’t ready. A small red flag, sure, but we were given a bottle of rosé to smooth things over. Rosé at 4 p.m.? Not the worst start, though that red flag was starting to flutter ever so slightly.

Fast forward 45 minutes, and finally, a table was ready. We ordered with a sense of hope and settled in, anticipating a nice meal. And after just 30 minutes, a couple of starters arrived—along with two kids’ meals. So far, so decent. (Spoiler alert: this was the last glimpse of food we’d see for the remainder of our ill-fated evening. Two kids? No food. Adults? Not even a crumb.)

Then came the first of many disappointments: no roast beef available. Annoying, but fine, we made alternate choices. Little did we know, this would be the last bit of communication we’d receive for a long, long time.

Another hour passed. Any inquiries about the whereabouts of our food were met with the infuriatingly vague “just 10 minutes away.” Meanwhile, we watched diners who arrived after us gleefully receive their meals including, I kid you not, the roast beef we were told didn’t exist.

By now, two hours had crawled by, and we were well into the “if someone doesn’t feed me soon, I might gnaw on the furniture” phase. Not a slice of bread, not an olive, nothing to ward off the gnawing hunger. All we got were more empty promises of “10 more minutes,” which by now tasted more bitter than anything the kitchen could’ve conjured up.

At the 2-hour-and-45-minute mark (yes, I was counting), the kids were on the verge of a full-blown revolt. Still no food. After confronting management about how we’d been lied to for over an hour and a half, they finally dropped the bombshell:

“We don’t know when your dinner will be ready. In fact, we’re not even sure if it will be ready.”

Yes, you read that right. The one thing a restaurant is meant to do serve food they couldn’t even guarantee. Apparently, the kitchen was operating in some Bermuda Triangle of communication. They tried blaming a staff member who hadn’t shown up, but having worked in hospitality myself, I know you don’t just stop feeding people because someone no-shows. You adjust! You downsize the service, you turn new customers away - you don’t keep a party hanging around for hours on a special occasion while lying through your teeth.

Three hours in, with no sign of food and the pretense long abandoned, we left. Starving, frustrated, and with our evening thoroughly ruined.

On our way out, we encountered a woman whose night had also been wrecked. Her kids were served raw food, and she’d left without paying because, apparently, free dinner doesn’t feel like much of a win when it’s inedible and the night is already a disaster.

We ended the night scavenging through the fridge at home because by then, the supermarkets were closed, and the kids were exhausted.

In all my years, I’ve never left a pub after three hours without being served dinner. Why they weren’t turning away customers or cancelling bookings to focus on those they already had is beyond me. Communication, common sense and apparently main courses are sorely lacking at this establishment.

Consider this my first-ever bad review. Avoid The Cricketers on the Green. We weren’t the first to have a night ruined here, and with their attitude, we definitely won’t be the...

This was my first time here, although other family members had visited and said it was nice. The venue is well fitted out and very modern mixed with the traditional parts of the old building, which I think gives the place real charm and character. We attended for a Sunday roast, and the service when we arrived seemed very polite and efficient and we were shown to our table swiftly. Seated and our drinks order taken almost straight away, which I liked, whilst we then purused the menu. Sadly the service took a bit of a bad turn for us on this occasion, plate handed to one of us, burning hot with no warning at all! Then another plate given to the wrong person, so they started cutting up and then had to hand it to some else at the table. One of the dishes had cold meat on the Sunday roast, and when I say cold, fridge cold! All the food took some time to arrive at the table, as only one person bringing food for 6 to our table! When we mentioned it to our waiter, he asked if we would like the manager, and whilst turning and walking away uttered “because I don’t want to deal with this”! Absolutely shocking to hear that when we were all still being polite and understanding, but at a loss as to why things seemed so much trouble to them. The manager did arrive, sorted out the cold meat and delivered fresh vegetables, but I wouldn’t say it was over and above if I’m honest. The whole experience felt pretty tainted from the service level point of view, which was a shame as the place has really nice decor and the food we did end up eating was tasty. It just goes to show, that one moment of service failure or a few mistakes here and there, can really have an impact on the dining experience. I think the management should’ve considered a more significant gesture when it came to the bill, as 2x free veg didn’t really leave me feeling compensated considering the overall disappointing experience we had. To sum up, I’m not sure if I will return here, but I wouldn’t say avoid by any means, just maybe manage your expectations from a service level...

We came for afternoon tea today for our mum's birthday and left rather disappointed. It took a while for all the food to come out (sandwiches came one plate at a time five-fifteen minutes apart) and then we could hear the staff shouting to each other about if we needed another plate of sandwiches (we did). One waitress said they have loads on their table they dont need more and a waiter came over and stared at our table then shouted back at them yes they have lots of plates already, which i think was quite rude to be so loudly talking about our table in such a quiet part of the pub and also incorrect. After a while they realised we did need more sandwiches and they finally brought out the final plate but we had already started on our sweet things as we assumed they were not coming, i think for the price it was poor service for them to come so far apart and for the service to be so disorganised and no communication with us with how long it would take for everything to come out. The sandwiches were not great, the beef was chewy and the tomato & avocado ones were not seasoned at all and soggy. We also had to ask for jam for the scones. Two of our party of six had hot chocolates instead of tea and the waitress apparently double checked that they were included but after we had driven home we realised we had been charged for them. We also had asked for house prosecco but on the website it says it is £28.50 but we were charged £35.50. We should have double checked the receipt to query all of this and removed the service charge as we felt quite uncomfortable in the end but we were in a rush to leave as our Mum was quite disappointed and it was her birthday. Overall we do not think it was worth it for the price...