Koomba Park — Attraction in Melbourne

I like signs to lead to a destination.

The first sign said it was 900m to the park. Mr Cranky was already not enjoying the journey, but I thought I could draw out less than a “k”.

Several hundred meters later, a new sign said 1km to the park. By this stage I’d already worked out that the entire area was the park and that there was no pot of gold around the next corner.

So we walked back to the car. Many laughs were had and it was certainly precious time. Just not quite the experience I...

Yeah look it’s all good … if you stay on the main track …. But venture off and you’ll find yourself immersed in what I can describe as the fudge packing meat massaging district. I witnessed two men having a good time Near a tree with moaning. Was very awkward and one asked me to join them …. No thanks. The after I saw an old man pleasuring himself. Please don’t veer off the track. These people belong in the...

I wouldn't stray too far from the designated paths in the dread Koomba; you might think you had somehow stumbled into one of the more treacherous sub-plots of the Lord of the Rings. If not assailed by Orcs, you will be bitten by insects. Even if you don't actually see them, you know that spiders and snakes of lethal venoms lie about in terrifying numbers. You will regret not bringing...