Monster Vineyards — Attraction in Penticton

It’s called Monster, a great name for a winery, so expect a lot of jokes referencing classic Japanese monsters. You may have to Google a few. Between Godzilla and Giant Condor, I’d place Monster Vineyards somewhere around Titanosaurus.

Monster Vineyards is…fine.

It’s…fine.

I mean if you like the wine, by all means, visit the winery, but just remember that you can find the wine nearly everywhere. Monster Vineyards was one of the few brands I was completely aware of upon our visit to the Penticton-Naramata region. We were on the fifth day of a wine tour taking us from Osoyoos to Kelowna. In a week, we had collected 120 bottles from sixty wineries, and some were from Monster. It’s reliable. I’ve enjoyed not only the wine but the very bottles themselves. They are etched with trendy designs and are breathtaking. My girlfriend is planning to get into bottle cutting and wants to perfect her technique before reaching the Monster bottles.

Thankfully, what the bottles contain is also well above average. I have not been steered wrong by a bottle. They are reasonable priced and don’t hurt the palette. If judging a winery entirely on the quality of the wine (and why would you not), then Monster Vineyards rates higher than the winery itself. It’s no Godzilla, let’s not get too hasty. Mothra maybe, Rodan by the very least. I am still sitting on a 2015 Rose from last year.

However, the winery itself is just not that special. I mean it has one of the best tables you’ll see anywhere, carved to resemble serpentine beasts snaking around the foundation with heads looming above. But it’s nestled in a rather lackluster warehouse lacquered in corrugated steel. The tasting room is nothing more than an unfinished area with exposed crossbeams and lacking any floor outside of polished concrete. There is an appeal for rustic décor, but this goes beyond that to being simply cheap. And this coming from one of my favorite wines. Taking just the location into account, Monster is barely Gamera, more like Gorosaurus or worse, Baby Godzilla (you remember that one—it was like Jabba with feet). The presence of Poplar Grove further aggravates this nearby, a better winery serving lesser wine just up the road.

And with a name like Monster, you’d think they’d put a modicum of effort into it, like giant statues or huge art pieces. Something. Maybe televisions constantly looping classic Japanese kaiju films. What wasted potential. Great...

Visited 5 wineries today and this one at Monster Winery was the worst. The wines weren’t bad (I like that you pick 5 wines to try), but my host was horrible. She was a young brown haired teen with acne. She wasn’t rude but she was not thrilled to be there and hardly smiled, didn’t make conversation and just told me the notes of the wine and then stared blankly into the space behind me. Maybe it was an off day but the other host (young blond teen) seemed much more alive and into wine than my host. I ended up buying a bottle of the Red Eyed (it was $2 off regular price), which waived the $5 tasting. There are bathrooms at this winery and outdoor seating without umbrellas so no reprieve from the blaring...

This location (1010 Tupper Ave) is now the space for ONES Non-Alcoholic Wine Tasting Room.

I visited ONES this afternoon and had the pleasure of being hosted by Destee who made my first experience at a non-alcoholic wine tasting an amazing one. The wines served were all very convincing and sat well on the palate. Destee provided wonderful service and is clearly extremely knowledgeable not only about all of the current wines, but also the upcoming releases, and the wineries' owners and history. Highly highly...