Paralia Macherida — Attraction in Municipality of Chania

I come to Macherida for the crystal-clear water, peaceful atmosphere, and the simple pleasure of sunbathing without marinating in damp polyester. But lately, I’ve been truly entertained — not by the beach itself (still flawless), but by the one-star reviews crying out like they’ve just witnessed the seventh seal open.

“My children saw a bum!” “My holiday was ruined by a visible human nipple!” “There was NO SIGN!!” — Ma’am, it’s a remote cove down a dirt path, with 0 amenities and 100% freedom. Did you take a wrong turn on your way to Agia Marina?

I’m sorry there wasn’t a flashing neon billboard that read: “ABANDON ALL CLOTHES, YE WHO ENTER HERE.” But what gave it away? The 30 sun-kissed humans lounging freely like Greek gods? The total absence of sun loungers and overpriced Fanta?

This is not a misunderstanding. This is a you problem. If you arrive at a nudist beach and your first instinct is to file a Yelp report like you've just seen a crime scene, I kindly suggest:

Going somewhere else.

Keeping your eyes on the horizon.

Re-evaluating why you fear buttocks more than bad TripAdvisor grammar.

Meanwhile, back in paradise, the water’s divine, the breeze is perfect, and the only thing more exposed than the bodies is the hypocrisy in those dramatic one-star rants.

Jesus didn’t walk on water here — but if he had, he’d probably have left his robe on the rocks...

Unlike some of the beaches around the island of Crete, the beach didn’t have terrible far to traverse to get down to the beach - maybe a 5 minute walk down a rocky embankment before coming out onto the sand. The parking area itself was a little rocky so be careful in low vehicles.

Plenty of good shade amongst the trees on a hot day. Plenty of people camped out here.

The beach was nice, and a few sections without or with minimal rocks. We went across what looks like the end of the beach over to a smaller cove that was lovely.

We were recommended the space as an a nudist beach, however we saw only one or two topless women and no men nude, and it was quite busy with young textiled families so we didn’t feel comfortable to strip off ourselves. We went in the afternoon so maybe at a different time it would have been more nudist friendly.

If you are coming from Kissamos there are some pretty tight corners along the valley through the mountains and some single file tunnels and other sections only one car can...

Really lovely, secluded nudist beach. It's a short walk from the road. It's worth bringing water shoes if your feet aren't already hardened to the sharp rocks. There isn't a great expanse of sand so you will find a comfortable nook in the rocks to set up your perch. The bay is beautiful and quite good for snorkelling, there's lots of urchins around and spotted a lion fish too. If you fancy getting to know the locals a little better you can head on round to the right of the beach to the rocks and watch the sunset. Bring the mosquito...