Spooky Nook Sports — Attraction in East Hempfield Township

In terms of the least enjoyable places in the world, the Spooky Nook ranks up there with the DMV and elementary school band concerts. Let's start at the beginning. You arrive at the facility, and all traffic is routed through the drop-off area regardless of whether you intend to drop anyone off. Once you navigate that cattle chute, you find a parking spot and walk into the facility. There's no walkway into the facility, so you end up stepping over rope dividers between parking aisles and trying to avoid mud.

Then you get inside. Credit where it's due, it's a beautiful facility. First stop is (usually) a security bag check. It's an old school bag check, so someone manually checks your bag with varying levels of rigor. If you're a safety conscious person, you might appreciate this security measure, but it's important to note that there's no magnetometers and they don't check pockets. It isn't for safety, it's to make sure you aren't bringing anything in that you might otherwise buy while inside.

Next is a new addition: Ticket booths! In my experience (youth indoor field hockey), it costs $6 at the door ($5 in advance) per person to get into the facility. This adds another few minutes while the ticket agents meticulously place wristbands on your wrist for you (because simply handing it to you would detract from the apparent goal of maximum inefficiency).

Now, relieved of the burden of your excess cash, you make your way to the courts. Fun fact: when the Nook was built, one of its premier tenants was the US Field Hockey team. Not surprisingly, they only lasted a few years before moving elsewhere. The courts are arrayed in two rows of five side by side on the ground floor and surrounded by thick, black netting. The entire spectator area is upstairs, and is composed of a series of catwalks. This means that for all but one of the courts in the far row, the only spectator space is a 12' wide catwalk that runs along the baseline. So, all spectators for four games have to line up along 60 linear feet. And because the catwalk is directly over the baseline, you can't see one of the goals. There are bleachers scattered along the catwalk, but because they are set back from the edge, anyone sitting on those has very limited visibility.

It's as though someone decided to turn their kid's sophomore year architecture project into reality. Apparently the designers did not take spectators into account at all, but then years later had the audacity to charge spectators for this execrable viewing experience.

When it's finally time to leave, you make one last stop at the front desk to buy a parking pass. In addition to your admission and the tournament fees paid by your club, you must also pay $10 for the privilege of getting your car out of the lot at this miserable place. And no, although you are able to purchase admission online, you cannot purchase a parking pass online. So you have to queue up to pay for your parking spot. It's as though the proprietors have an explicit goal to operate in the least efficient way possible.

I understand that the tortured souls who own this facility are justifiably seeking to make money. That's fine, they have every right to do that. But the half-witted way they go about it is too much. If they insist on nickle-and-diming the people who are already paying tournament fees, the least they can do is do it efficiently and improve the experience of their...

Do not bother with scheduling birthday parties there! We had a party there on 4/26, no one mentioned there would be a friggin basketball tournament that day. It was so crowded that people were literally bumping into the small children party guests who had to stand around in front of a table that said "birthday" because the person with the key to the party room took off. One was stepped on. The "security" didn't know where to send guests (hint, it was 50 ft behind them) and the parking lot attendants were trying to charge guests for parking despite the big "B" parking passes. When we finally got to the party room, 2 people had to use the restroom. BOTH PARTY HOSTS took the rest of the guests all the way across the facility and left the bathroom people behind. I had to wonder around for 20 minutes because no one knew where they went. When we finally found everyone and got there, that part was fine until the one party host ran off to prepare the food. There was another huge delay, and that delay had to do with the kitchen squishing part of the cake and instead of just getting on with it, the hostess was calling everyone to figure out what to do. Coldish pizza, a jacked up cake and flat soda. Yum. Whatever, we were almost done with that awful day so we were just anxious to get the kids to the arcade. They said they'd comp the cake, but charged the full amount and then the hostesses took off and left the ice cream cake out to where it melted by the time the arcade time was done. BTW whatever happened in that arcade room that has it smelling like straight up mildew should probably be looked at! I decided whatever, it's not like we were charged for it, except we ended up being charged! In 4 kids, and big birthday blowouts at least 4 times a year across Lancaster and York counties, I have never had such a horrible experience hosting a birthday party. EVER. I paid almost $500 for what equated to be being stuck in an airport crowd wise, only with worse food and completely clueless employees. 3 guests left because the parking lot people couldn't tell them where...

The worst kept bathrooms at any sports complex. Near the fieldhouse there are bathrooms on the first floor but not on the second floor where all the “seating” is (we’ll come back to that). They could have easily ran plumbing above the first floor bathrooms to accommodate second floor bathrooms like any other building that was designed with common sense. The field house bathroom I’m talking about for men, all stalls with toilets, no urinals. Makes sense, since you have 500 team tournaments there with probably 70% or more male teams, plus spectators and other training sessions going on. Urine all over the seats and floors every time I went in there. Besides the disgustingness, the paper towels are always empty and the alternative hand dryer feels like it runs on AA batteries.

Back to the seating arrangements, there are small sets of bleachers sporadically positioned near the courts, and then there are several mismatched dining room style chairs that look like they were taken from a retirement community. And the players have fabric cushioned chairs to sit on the team side; like fabric that easily absorbs sweat from every player over the course of 10+ hours playing sports over 2 days, but I’m sure they get disinfected after each weekend about as routinely as the bathrooms.

For a $35 entry fee, plus $20 to park (such a racket, no other tournament venue has charged us to park during two AAU seasons of traveling around), it’s shameful they don’t staff more cleaning crews and more adequate seating to accommodate the crowds; I counted more staff in the parking lot than cleaning crews (I saw one lady wheeling a cleaning cart over the course of 2 days, not her fault, one person can’t keep up with that volume of people).

If you were renting the facility for an event, or an occasional evening sports session, then this is a nice place to come. If you come here for a tournament, bring a comfortable chair and wear shoes you are willing...