Caliente Club & Resorts — Hotel in Land O' Lakes

I'm going to apologize for the lengthy & wordy review. I actually questioned my decision to go to Caliente after reading some of the negative reviews on here. I would like my review to be one of the few that people need to read when deciding to come here. I had the most perfect time here. everyone was super friendly & welcoming from the staff, to the guests to the homeowners that actually live here. Firstly...Caliente is located in Land O Lakes, FL, a very desirable area to live in. i looked up real estate there and the homes are as beautiful as they come. The resort sits off of Land O lakes Blvd which is busy. it is not in a bad neighborhood but is off of a busy thoroughfare. You would never know this once in the resort. Check in was smooth. We arrived at 2pm and our room wasn't ready. We were early. We were able to keep our luggage safe and get some pool towels & enjoy the resort. We were called once our room was ready. We were in the hotel area which was very close to the main clubhouse so we could walk. They do have shuttles that can take you to wherever you are staying in the resort & they are more than efficient. We got to our room and it was very clean. keep in mind it is a hotel room, much like a Marriott or Hampton with a coffee machine....room fridge & microwave. The room does have very nice French doors that lead to an outside patio which was also very clean. I always gauge the cleanliness of a room by how my feet look while walking barefoot. I am ashamed to say that our room's floors were cleaner than my own!! Caliente does have a lot to do. There are pickleball courts (similar to tennis)...a volleyball court, 2 volleyball pools, a very updated & clean gym, a sports bar with a pool table, and a nightclub. My husband and I are not club goers and like classic rock so we only spent a small amt of time in the club...no problem for us. On Sunday they had an awesome band.. I believe the band was No Filter and they were right up our alley. We got a great spot in the mail pool & was there for the whole time they played. They also had karaoke. DJ Nick hosts that and he is funny & with a great voice. Some of the regular people who stay there sang karaoke on Sunday & they were awesome to listen to. Drink prices at the pool bars & clubs are comparable to ANY resort on the Gulf Coast of FL. To me the best deal was their bucket, which reminded me of the large Chinese takeout soup container. That drink was $12 I believe and was much more cost effective for my husband and I to share as opposed to getting 2 separate drinks.The food was delicious & the portions were more than enough. When coming to this resort,keep in mind it is clothing optional/nudist/lifestyle/ fpr like minded adults. yes...people are naked. That means without clothes. It is not just a nudist resort. If you want JUST that, look elsewhere. Florida has more than its share. It IS a lifestyle/like minded ADULT resort, which means no one under age 21. It means you may see some sexual type of activity. Basically DO YOUR RESEARCH. This is exactly what I was looking for and this is exactly what I got. Caliente has a vacation special which can't be beat. We took advantage of that. By booking the special, you agree to sit through a 1 hr no pressure presentation which comes with a full breakfast or lunch. We had breakfast with Alvin. He was as nice as can be & very funny. The membership wasn't feasible for us at this time due to work & kid issues. Alvin knew this after talking for a bit. Our presentation would have been done in a hour but we talked Alvin's ear off for an additional 30 mins. The staff here is more than exceptional. Security is very nice and helpful. You are not allowed to bring in containers of any type full. I did bring in an empty Yeti Tumbler which I was able to fill with water...which is provided at the bars to stay hydrated. We did the new person meet & greet in the club. Our hosts Stacey & Roger were super friendly & informative. I...

This is the 4th time we've stayed at Caliente'. We've stayed in the hotel, Casita, a condo and off campus once. The casita was nothing special as was the hotel room. The hotel did have mirrors on the ceilings which was a nice touch. The condo was fairly nice and had just enough dishes, silverware, glasses etc. to get by. The following is my pros and cons list...hope this helps:

Pros: beautiful pool with waterfalls three other pools that are a much smaller (warmer too) and a great place to meet people and talk Sports bar. Great atmosphere Food is very tasty and moderately priced (based on where you are). The pizza is like crack! Night club. Great upbeat atmosphere Piano bar is very nice with good entertainment Theme nights. always great costumes Playroom. although closed when we were there this last time due to permitting issues, we were able to use it last year on new years. AMAZING area to watch/play/join others Staff. Always friendly and go out of their way to make your experience a pleasant one Tennis/pickleball courts Friendly people from all over the US

Cons: for the price of the accommodations, the grounds at the resort are run down quite a bit needing some TLC Hot tub jets not working Hot tub not clean...pretty disgusting really Conversation pool. a very fun place to be intimate with your partner; however, several creepers all four times we were there. My opinion is that there should not be single men allowed. My girl and I were being intimate and a guy comes right up to us and says to her..."you have very nice breasts, do you want a massage"...really! Another time, we were again being intimate with my back to the wall of the conversation pool and my girl was straddling me she felt someone rubbing her leg. It took her a moment to realize that is wasn't me. Again...my opinion...no single men. Paint - Although they were painting the building itself (which looks good I may add) the steps and floor to the deck were in pretty bad shape and in need of painting...much of the paint was peeling. It was like that all of the other times we were there as well. Grounds - There is a pond behind the pool stage and grass between the pool area and the pond. It was recently mowed and it looked like an extremely lazy teenager mowed it. Weeds growing between the pavers in the pool area Towels are for guests that stay on premises...you would think it would be no problem to grab a couple towels at the beginning of the day. We literally went to the desk on 5 occasions to get two towels and all but one time, there were none available. At first I thought...no big deal, the resort is fairly busy but I went on a Monday morning about 10am...hardly anyone at the resort and...you guessed it, no towels. They said that they were just getting out of the dryer and to check back in 10 minutes. I actually went back 45 minutes later and again, no towels. They once again said that they were in the dryer and to come back. The outdoor showers near the bathrooms are pretty disgusting. Spider webs in the corners of the showers, the tile is missing grout and pretty dirty. (easy fixes) Really no attention to detail in many parts of the resort, especially outside.

Don't get me wrong, I love the atmosphere at Caliente'; however, they should really pay more attention to detail on the grounds and cleanliness of the property.

I hope that someone from the resort reads this and takes my critique as a means to improve the facility. I is a great time and gould be a 4+ star resort with some TLC.

Would I return...Hell yes.

Jerry...

I would like to extend a heartfelt appreciation shout out to Caliente General Manager Chad and his administration team for their expert and professional intervention in an incident we were a part of on 07/13/24.

We have been Day Pass guests of this resort for several years, enjoying the many swimming pools, gym, food, drink, live music, Cornhole, and fishing from their dock.

We completely understand the stress involved in dealing with the public as a food server/bartender, especially when the bartender stated that she wasn't feeling well. Without going into great detail, words were exchanged between my wife and the bartender and another customer and the bartender. Note the bartender initiated the negativity.

When Chad and his team returned from investigating the matter we accepted accountability and agreed that both sides could have behaved better.

The bigger issue that occurred that day involved the Karaoke worker Nick. Nick admitted to Chad that he did not know what had occurred in the previously mentioned incident, but nevertheless took it upon himself to march over to me and my wife in a very aggressive manner, loudly ordering us to leave the premises.

At one point I thought he was going to hit me when I questioned him why we were being thrown out? When I explained to him that my towels and personal items were a distance away, he snarled and said "Get your stuff and get out!"

As we were leaving I asked the security guard who was Nick? He said he was the person in charge of the Karaoke show. He stated that he would not ban us from future visits, but thought it was best that me and my wife leave for the rest of the day, because Nick was angry.

As we entered the lobby we ran into the couple who Nick had also kicked out.

Chad and his management staff offered us refreshments and patiently listened to our complaints about Nick.

Upon he and his management staff investigating the matter, they agreed with us that Nick should not have behaved inappropriately towards us.Chad also agreed that Nick did not have the authority to kick us out of the resort.

Lastly Chad agreed to bring Nick to us to apologize. The attempt to get this egomaniac to apologize was a disaster.

Nick strolled in like he was royalty. He then refused to apologize or even be truthful regarding his abhorrent behavior.

Twice during the conversation he referred to my wife in a patronizing tone "sweetheart." Even the female manager, Stanka, who sat in attendance, observed Nick to be male chauvinistic and rude.

During Nicks arrogant shift blaming rants and attempts to prematurely leave the meeting, I looked towards Chad and said "at least you know what you have?"

Nick ended up leaving the meeting anyway in an angry and arrogant cloud of dust. Chad said with a welcomed stern stare, that he would be talking to Nick later.

We thoroughly trust that Chad will be talking to Nick about his overstepping boundaries, lack of candor, and rude behavior.

Me and my wife look forward to visiting our favorite Florida resort in the near future.

Thanks again Chad and your entire...