Xiquet by Danny Lledó – A Major Letdown, Even My Dog Threw Up 😵

$250 per person for a tasting menu? More like I was the real fool for paying that much. 🤡 The flavors were a disaster – fishy and salty notes danced on my tongue like a bad ballet, and I swear I lost 4,000 taste buds in one bite. 💀 The frog legs (which they called “ambitious frog”) reminded me of those sad Buffalo Wild Wings I choked down in college. The chef should really go train at a proper Chinese spot like Gelaoguan. 🐸 The pork main course was so tough, my grandma could’ve chewed it from breakfast till bedtime. I sneaked two pieces to my dog, and she threw them up the next morning. 🥲 Each dish came with a little card featuring the chef’s story. Michelin might love a good tale, but I’m not into pretentious stories from privileged European white guys. 📖🙄 Service was awkward too – our young white server spoke so fast and quietly it felt like taking the TOEFL listening test all over again. My friend doesn’t drink, so I ordered a $35 glass of champagne, and the sommelier didn’t crack a smile all night. 🍾😐 The only decent bites were the octopus slices, foie gras mousse, and the dessert. 🐙🍰 Have you had a fine-dining experience that totally missed the mark? Share your story below – misery loves company! 👇💬 #DCFoodReview #FineDiningFail #TastingMenuLetdown #DCeats #NotWorthIt #FoodieWarning #MichelinMiss #DCRestaurants #HonestReview