Jake & the Beans Talk — Restaurant in Melbourne

After seeing all the great reviews which herald this place as a quaint, funky, little cafe with great vego options, I was keen to try it out. However, I was left feeling underwhelmed. I will say the coffee was great and the vibe was right/friendly staff, but that’s probably all it had going for it.

I was seeking a spot with vegan options, much to my dismay there really was only two options and I’m not a fan of chia pudding. The menu was hard to read (tiny/grey and blue font) and their key for what was veg, vegan, dairy and gluten free was a inaccessible. I settled on the vegan Jake and it was overall, bland… eh. I’ve paid less for a better, more tasty, vegan big breakfast option at other cafes. They swap out the meat with just steaks of fried tofu… literally plain fried tofu - no seasoning or anything. It’s not that difficult to toss your tofu in some extra seasonings before frying it. The hash browns were tiny and super greasy. The homemade baked beans were pretty bland. Smashed avo, sourdough, mushrooms, spinach and tomato - all standard for a big brekky but nothing stood out.

There is a surcharge on weekends which is stated on the (difficult to read) menu, but there’s no sign anywhere out the front or near the counter. It feels a bit misleading to not have it stated anywhere on the outside.

Overall, this is what happens when you prioritise an Instagram aesthetic over actual taste and quality of...

This is a great cafe in Malvern East! One of the only cafes that make my eggs to perfection (I like my eggs quite soft poached... almost to the point of raw, and they were spot on)! The green sauce seen in the picture added a nice tang to the Eggs Benedict and the “Mexican style” flavours they had really makes it stand out from other cafes. I’d definitely recommend the smoothies; they were so rich and creamy! Prices are standard Aussie Cafe (i.e. $25-35 AUD pp with beverages).

The cafe itself is quite small so it can get quite busy on weekends; we had to wait a fair bit before getting served but the friendly service and good food made up for it. They have an outdoor eating area that is well-heated, which in May, didn’t mean we were freezing our butts off outside.

Be mindful that the bathrooms are tiny, I couldn’t believe how small they were (and I’m quite small myself)! You can actually wash your hands in the sink as you sit and do your business, so just keep that in mind if you’re a larger person, are using a mobility device, or get claustrophobic easily. Aside from that, I would definitely...

Stood at the counter waiting for about 2 minutes for one of the 4 staff to either seat me, or acknowledge I was a customer.

3 people came and stood behind me. A lady came in and was immediately greeted, due to seemingly knowing the person behind the counter and got served in front of all 4 people waiting.

Walked out and went to another cafe.

Staff need some education on how to greet and seat people. 4 people behind the counter, but nobody paying attention to the customers waiting to be served. If they are busy, at least say “just give us a minute guys, or tell me to take a seat”. No clue if it’s table service or other, as nobody talked to me at all.

Other people’s reviews made me come here and the food pictured look great, but quite disappointed in the service. First time I’ve ever walked out like that.

Tempted to order a toasted sandwich from the fridge that I could see, but nothing was labelled, so had no clue what was in each. Place needs work to think about...