Blend Cafe and Pizza Bar — Restaurant in Western Australia

Could have sworn on a stack of Harry Potter novels that I'd left a review here. Maybe it was on Trip Advisor or Farcebook. Dunno.

Anyhoo, I love this place for so many reasons:

Reminds me of my grandmas' houses; one in Guildford, one in Baulko.

The staff are massively diverse, intersting, fascinating people. For me, a hospo nirvana. Not that I need to have life-changing dialogues with all of them, but if it's quiet, slow and calm, we have a chat, a laugh, a sing, and even a dance.

You could write a script for a play, film, TV show, ditty, album, song cycle, radio trilogy in five parts just by going in for a pot of peppermint tea and a glass of Blatherer Cab Sav. Raconteur, I mean. I'm the blatherer.

The location. Free parking, right next to the 915 and 114 bus stops, right on - or rather, off Marmion Streets, in between Redwood and Williams. A short-ish stroll down from Canning Hwy - short-ish, as in maybe 20mins. I mean, today it's not too bad (for me). 28⁰C feels like 30⁰C. So a bit chilly at times. Extreme UV (11), winds 21km/h from the... can't tell. Gusting about a bit. 67⁰C humidity.

I'm wearing dodgy old flip flops, and doing that walk today would have me face-planting into the foot path. Foot bath. I did that other review on my old work phone that I found yesterday morning in my foot bath. True story.

The music. Holy snaffing schnitzel, Kat Whoa Man. I've just fallen down a massive rabbit hole following the thread of two songs. One is the South American original arrangement of a song in Spanish that was anglicised and popularised by a duo called Tom And Gerry.

The other is a traditional Irish tune/song from... dunno. Donkey's. Maid Of The County Down. I tried to sing along, but I was flopping, flailing, flapping my gums about and missing every lyric. So I shazam-ed it and now I have to go buy some Santiano music and learn this song from the lands of my forefathers and fivemothers, and learn to sing it in German.

Mädchen von Haithabu. Mit Santiano. And I know it's on Leo Rojas Mix on the awful, money-grubbing, musician-dissing Spotty Hi Fi. Meanwhile... I've just downloaded some Leo Rojas pronounced Row-Haas. Or according to the boss person here at Blend, Leo Rogers. You know what? It might be his real name. Just like I'm Bill Thegh Maiy-Tee Quinn.

I think we're done. I came in here for tea and a whine. A smoke and a pancake. A bung and a blitz. Cigar and a stroopwafel. Blunt and a strawberry shortcake.

And I've worked so hard on this now that it's lunchtime, which a specifically non-specific time descriptor. It's half-past a hair, a freckle, and two weirdly parallel, unequal length, separately made scratches on the back of my hand.

So I'll have my bangers and mash then playtime is over. Time to go back to work.

Short version: Awwww, yeeeeaahhh. Blend? They's firkin awwwwesummm. Ehhhhgudizz Blend?...

Bit of a disappointing dinner here tonight. I’m a big fan of the restaurant and I’ve had many happy breakfast and brunches. The whole family turned out for a dinner and we were excited to eat the food. Unfortunately my partner’s meal was not even put through the kitchen and so it did not come out and they were confirming his order at the same time that the rest of us were being given our food and eating it. At that same time my partner ordered a pint of beer and I suggested that it should be on the house given that his meal had not even been put through to the kitchen. The owner came over and confirmed that the pint would be on the house. Later when the missing food arrived he came and reiterated and said this would be on the house and gesticulated towards the table and we assumed that the late meal would also be complementary, as this had already been confirmed for the beer. At the same time the owner offered us dessert, giving us the distinct impression that this would also be on the house. I ordered two desserts for the children. When I went to pay all of the food was on the bill and only the pint was missing. I didn’t feel like raising it at the time but in the car we all discussed that we believed he had said the late meal would be free and at least had indicated that the desserts might be, although we weren’t sure about that. When I phoned the owner to query this he was very insistent that he had only wanted to make the beer free and could not get off the phone fast enough. I believe that if a restaurant spoils your dining experience by sending out one meal after everybody has finished then that meal should be free as a...

It kills me to have to do this. I wanted to give 4 stars, but the latest visit just really dampened the mood. I've been to Blend with the missus about 4-5 times, and each time have been great, the food has always been delicious and plentiful and though some people have said the prices here are a bit on the steeper end I think the quality has always justified the prices.

However, heed my warning. Do NOT get the scotch fillet (aka Rib Eye). It may have been a misplay on my poor partner's behalf to order something from the "Todays Special's" Menu, however the Medium Rare piece of meat came out "Well Done". She shyly let one of the waiters know and they apologized and then brought out what I can only describe as the most awful looking piece of meat I have ever seen.

I asked for a bite and instantly regretted my decision. I asked her to cut the questionable carcass in half and at once saw why it tasted so foul: The meat was old.

I want to stop right here, and draw an image for you. Yes it was defnitely medium rare, except instead of the pinkish center, all I saw was grey. The kind of grey you see on deathly sick people. That shade of grey which my face had now turned after witnessing what I had just ingested not 10 seconds ago.

I myself got the ravioli and even though it was VASTLY better than the Grey Meat of Death, it was still lackluster in comparison to the fantastic flavors I was accustomed to from Blend. This was definitely a let down visit, and I am hoping a once off.

I would still recommend going to Blend Cafe, just stay away from the scotch fillet, because cats aren't the only things that can die...