Glistening Waters Restaurant and Marina — Restaurant in Jamaica

I stayed at this hotel for two nights and it felt like a long time! The place is mainly known for the Luminous Lagoon boat trip. I had been on that trip before and it had been pleasant which is why I gave the hotel a try. I really wish I hadn’t!||||The decor:||The hotel is really drab and to say, well worn, is being kind. The hotel rooms and furniture are dated and the curtains barely met. I had a room at the front and the noise of the traffic was continuous throughout the night. It was extremely difficult to get some sleep. The tiles in the bathroom were cracked and the tub had some sort of stain. There was no hot water from the shower but some in the hand basin. Overall the tile floors and the room were generally clean. The telephone did not work which was not helpful when I had to ring the lobby to change the pillow slip which had a dirty mark on it. There was not attempt to address the problem. There was no water to drink in the room. If you wanted anything from the restaurant it had to be purchased before 9pm when it shut!||||The restaurant||This is open plan which could have been pleasant. However, the plastic flowers on the table were dusty and the fans needed cleaning. The mosquitos descended at about 6pm and the hotel had little arranged to prevent this happening. A mosquito coil was quickly set up after I grumbled about being bitten!||The food was actually awful. The soup which comes with the main meal was absolutely tasteless. The jerk chicken which I had was dreadful. The sauce was just that, not cooked and smoked into the chicken, which is the essence of jerk chicken. The clue being in the name!||I planned to have a small of glass of Appleton Rum until I was told the price was $7.50 which gave me pause. The food is frankly over priced and way below expectation. The staff are generally pleasant but they have no idea about customer service. I waited for milk for my coffee on two occasions and had to repeat the request before the milk arrived; asking for water seemed to invoke surprise; paying the bill required me going to the bar to make payment. Requesting a substitution of callaloo at breakfast ( which was included in the nightly hotel price ) elicited an additional payment of J$200!||I was not told that the hotel only takes a credit card if the bill is over $25. This kind of explains the exorbitant prices but does not excuse the appalling quality. It is all the more irritating when the web site laughably refers to the restaurant as a “fine dining” experience. ||||Access||If you have any disability- don’t bother. There are steps everywhere. I am fortunate to have good mobility but having to drag my case up stairs and then up two flights of stairs to the room was tiring. The hotel does not have a functional front desk hence the need to drag my case up flights of stairs. It would have been helpful to have had some assistance on arrival.||||The pool||The pool looked less than sanitary and I decided to forego a swim when the staff were unable to state when the pool was last cleaned. The entire pool area needs revamping but in the scheme of things is probably the least of the problems here.||||The hotel nightly rate||Frankly it is vastly overpriced for what is on offer at the hotel. There is a real feel of nickel and dime-ing!||||The hotel nightly price was also to include the luminous lagoon boat ride. However, the hotel attempted to charge me a further $25! I refused and was later told that the last boat had gone at 6.30pm despite the fact I had said I wished to go.||Finally, I should have realised what to expect when I was told the internet was down. It did work later but the following day it was sporadic. There was also a huge clue when full payment for my stay was required at check-in which I now assume is to avoid people immediately checking-out.||Honestly, just don’t bother with this place. It truly...

This tour was such a disaster and a waste of money. When the tour is booked you're told that it is by sunset. We got there way after the sun had set. The sun sets around 6:30pm. By the time we got there it was already dark.There were several groups sitting in an area where there is a LOUD band playing and of course you're ushered to the bar area to buy drinks. (I did not). There are tons of mosquitoes that instantly start attacking you which we didn't know about so beware and bring lot's of insect repellent. You stand around waiting on a boat to take you out to the lagoon.

Many buses with huge groups kept showing up. It became extremely crowded. We kept asking when it would be our turn. The driver who brought us was so nonchalant and kept saying "the lady said when she is ready she will come get us. It was 8:45 pm when they finally did tell us they were ready. We were one of the first groups there and wound up being the last tour of the night. The bathrooms are disgusting. They stink and are so gross. They tried to appease us by bringing us a bottle of rum and soda. There were 4 people on our tour that seemed satisfied by that. I was not!! The bottle of rum was placed on the boat and the captain was drinking the whole time.So once you're on the boat they turn off the lights and it is pitch black. They start telling you stores about the Lagoon and how and why it glows. I know for a fact that some of the stories are definitely untruths because I heard the same stories at other attraction on other islands. Don't be fooled it is meant to entertain you. I wasn't entertained because I waited 2 hours to get to see the glowing water and get pictures in the water only to know that the pictures do not come out with a cell phone nor do they come out with a GOPRO. I have the gopro hero 5 and I was forced to buy the flash drive with the 15 pictures (some not so great, eyes closed) because I wanted pictures of the whole experience. The water only glows if you are treading water rapidly. When you jump in your feet touch the bottom and feels gross. It feels like gushy mud, I'm sure if I had seen this lagoon in the day light I wouldn't have gone in so I'm glad it was dark. The water is warm in some spots and cold in other spots. I didn't stay in the water long, just long enough to get those pictures and that's it.

Oh they tell you that there are only 4 places in the world that have these bio luminescent waters, that is not true. They were asking us if we knew of the places. I was almost positive that there is one in the Maldives but I only told my friend. i didn't shout it out. They stated the places are Jamaica, Puerto Rico, Bahamas and Indonesia. Not true, there are many other places in the world. The thing I'm not sure about is if you're able to swim in all of them. That I did not research.

When you get back to the doc you are of course encouraged to tip the men on the boat you are told "if you enjoyed your tour please share it with all of your friends, if not, Please do not share it" then you are directed over to the little table where the guy quickly puts your pictures in the flash drive gives you a piece of paper with a hand written phone number and email address and says if there are any problems call this number. So basically, you're buying at your own risk. You have no way of knowing if the flash drive is has all the files on...

⚠️ This will be an honest but long review ⚠️

Glistening Waters Restaurant was the last meal I ate in Jamaica. Later that night my insides exploded and my partner’s exact words were, “I think something crawled up in you and died!”

What crawled up in me was a stomach virus I contracted from Glistening waters restaurant. I believe someone on the kitchen staff did NOT wash their hands before handling my food. It’s 7 days since I ate that meal and I am still suffering from that contaminated food.

To make matters worse, this was THE worst Jamaican food I have ever paid for. It was my parents 50th wedding anniversary. I thought it would be a lovely idea to take them to Glistening Waters restaurant. They’ve been going to this restaurant for 10 years!! I’ve been eating at this restaurant since I was a likkle girl! The food was always exceptional until now.

I made a reservation in advance stating it was a special occasion but when I walked in with my family, the staff looked like sleepy dogs, too hot to move. They had nothing prepared for 7 adults and 2 children. The table was not cleaned and we waited for them to arrange the tables for us. What was the point of making a reservation?

For my parents 50th, I wanted to order a bottle of champagne separately from the dinner bill. Our Server was accommodating but then painfully slow in providing glassware or water to the table. I’ve been working in the hospitality industry as a bartender/server for 10+ years, I understand that Jamaica generally goes a slower pace, but when I, the guest, has to start helping the server because she’s going too slow…! That should have let me know this was going to be a bad night.

The food came out one at a time, instead of all together. We were waiting for some time already and too hungry to wait for everyone’s meal arrive. It was also difficult because we had a 5-year old and a 7-month old to feed. They were good but far less patient. Overall, all our food had NO FLAVOR. The steamed fish was so bland my mom begged the kitchen for some slices of scotch bonnet pepper. I’ve never needed to reach for salt and pepper with Jamaican food but today was the exception. The jerk chicken was nothing more than a tender chicken that had pimento flavored bbq sauce on it. I can get WAY better tasting & cheaper jerk chicken on the street. The only meal that was decent was the children’s meal. My niece enjoyed all her chicken fingers which were seasoned deliciously. Clearly, the chef can season food but is catering to a tourist-specific crowd with their sensitive American palettes. 🙄 There was nothing Jamaican about that food other than the fact that we were eating it in Jamaica. I paid $247 and left a 20% tip for okay service, bland forgettable food, and a stomach virus that has me attached to the toilet pleading for when this suffering is over.

We went on the glistening waters boat ride after dinner. I’ve been several times over the years. It’s beautiful and worth a trip. I was sad to hear that the hotel was built without respect to the local migratory birds. The birds left as a result. I think everything that was once wonderful and authentic about this restaurant left with those birds.

Go for the boat ride, enjoy a cocktail or two at the bar before the ride, but be warned, DON’T EAT THE FOOD!

I have...